n. Loose assemblage of activities undertaken quadrennially by over-ripped folk with an odd view of life and difficulty prioritising. Small trinkets on coloured ribbons and needlessly ostentatious flower arrangements are commonly given to several of the better entrants as stirring tunes play. Flags and advertising signage tend to be prominently displayed and portly men in suits shuffle about needlessly.
I couldn't sleep yesterday so I flicked on the olympics and caught some women's arm wrestling; it looked like the 85kg class. I think a Bulgarian won. Then there was rhythmic gymnastics. I swear to God. Rhythmic gymnastics.