frank klaune's definitions
A contemptable situation. Any despised turn of events. The phrase is used in a sarcastic tone and is intended as a portrayal of one's disgust for a given situation.
The vacation sucked. The RV broke down, the dog shit in the tent twice, the weather was hot, then rainy, and we were out of beer. Man, that trip was about as fun as a bouquet of penises.
by Frank Klaune November 23, 2004
Get the bouquet of penises mug.Term used to describe vigorous sex with a some hot bitch. Usually used in a hypothetical situation- bar talk.
Frank was all boozed up when he gestured to that bitch in the corner and said to me, "hey... how would you like to fuck her headlights out." Frank is such a moron.
by Frank Klaune June 24, 2006
Get the fuck her headlights out mug.You get up on a Sunday morning, take a shower, dress, then head out of the house. Your family is very sure that you are a good boy, heading out to go to church. Instead of attending church services, however, you go to K-Mart and spend just the appropriate amount of time there browsing merchandise so upon your return, your ruse is very convincing.
Frank's parents think he is such a good boy but we know the truth. He did a K-Mart Liturgy and bought condoms.
by Frank Klaune January 24, 2005
Get the K-Mart Liturgy mug.n. The forceful, violent, sudden expulsion of a considerable amount of fecal matter. "Power shit" generally (but not exclusively) relates to diahhroea. Upon taking a power shit, spray paint is often the outcome.
Damn, Frank had a huge gut cramp so he snuck into his neighbor's yard, went into their RV and took a major power shit. I think he was afraid to make the mess at home. It took his neighbor an hour or more to clean up the spray paint.
by Frank Klaune April 16, 2005
Get the power shit mug.by Frank Klaune March 29, 2005
Get the gourd mug.By far and beyond, the most commonly used Tomism (see "Tomism"). The phrase has it's origins when Tom was using his very last respirator mask while baling hay and took it off for lunch break. Chris quietly put a lump of horse shit in the middle of the mask. When Tom got up to put it back on, he stared at it for a few seconds, his face got red and he did a slow motion turn to Chris saying, "OHHHH... you MOTHER!!!" Since this event, it has become his signature phrase.
After saying, "OH you MOTHER", he proceeded to chase Chris around the barn, tackle him and perform Malaysian Chest Implosion Torture on him for revenge.
by Frank Klaune November 24, 2004
Get the oh you MOTHER mug.When a dog (or any animal or even an unruly spouse) has an itchy anus and proceeds to drag it on the ground to soothe the burning anal itch. Typically a dog will sit down, pull the hind legs up in the air and use the frong legs to propel across the floor.
Damn, Frank had the minister and his wife over at their house, and while they were having tea in the living room, Zippy sat right in front of them and did the electric slide. How embarassing!
by Frank Klaune March 29, 2005
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