figleaf23's definitions

cockpunch

A blow struck by a penis (typically in the face), usually in connection to the act of fellatio.

Last night when Debbie was about to suck me, she missed, and got cockpunched instead and ended up with a fat lip.

by Figleaf23 July 16, 2007

Kennedy, Anthony

Anthony Kennedy, judge of the United States Supreme Court, conspirator in a judicial coup d'etat that subverted American democracy by appointing G.W. Bush to the presidency in 2000.

See: Bush v. Gore, 531 U.S. (2000)

Republican-appointed judges William Rehnquist, Sandra Day O'Connor, Clarence Thomas, Anthony Kennedy (Kennedy, Anthony), and Antonin Scalia are all to blame.

by Figleaf23 September 14, 2007

habberdashery

men's clothing store

I needed a new tie, so I went to a habberdashery and spoke to the habberdasher. Meanwhile, my wife needed a new hat, so she went to the milinery.

by Figleaf23 June 2, 2007

Liquor? I don't even know her!

A tired old gag line to say whenever someone says the word 'liquor'.

Drinkin' Man 1: "Hey, let's go get some liquor!"
Drinkin' Man 2: "Liquor? I don't even know her!"

by Figleaf23 September 18, 2007

3 dressed up as a 9

on a scale of one to ten, a woman who actually would rate a three presenting superficially as if she were a nine.

"Well you can say what you like
Be what you wanna be
You can suit yourself, baby
But you don't suit me

You're just a 3 dressed up as a 9,
you're only wasting my time."

-Trooper

by Figleaf23 January 1, 2009

testilying

telling lies under oath; standard operating procedure for police officers acting as witnesses in trials.

See also: perjury

The story the cops gave was so ridiculous that everyone except the judge knew they were testilying.

by Figleaf23 February 26, 2009

pissaster

to have a urination go really bad for whatever reason. Includes spraying urine everywhere because you tried to piss with a chubby, or having your urine shoot out at one or more 90degree angles due to being gum shut, or any other bad thing happening when you're taking a piss.

Combines 'piss' and 'disaster'.

Dude1: What the fuck happened in the bathroom?
Dude2: It was dark and the lid was down -- a classic recipe for pissaster.
Dude1: Well fuck, clean it up!

by Figleaf23 January 1, 2009