1431 definitions by dave

A black person.
"I'll take the darkie on the left."
-a friend of mine, amongst many others, during a game of Rival Schools
by Dave January 14, 2004
Jokes invented by Yakov Smirnoff, involving the comparisons of things in the United States and the Soviet Union.
"In America, you drive car. In Soviet Russia, car drives you!"

"In America, you go to parties. In Soviet Russia, party goes to you!"

"In America, you watch television. In Soviet Russia, television watches you!"

"In America, you define dictionary. In Soviet Russia, dictionary defines you!"

"In America, you shoot gun. In Soviet Russia, gun shoots you!"
by Dave July 13, 2004
A Brilliant, funny show which has sadly since become mainstream, like all of FOX's new "shows". The general concensus of regular simpsons fans agree that it became this sometime around the 2001-2002 season(season 12). Occasionally, there is a standout episode, however.
The Simpsons was easily the funniest thing on TV until Family Guy came out.
by Dave August 20, 2004
Abbreviation commonly used in personal ads to indicate someone is well endowed.
"MWM D/D free, W/E and cut. Seeking WF for good times."
(This would translate to: Married white male, drug and disease free, well endowed and circumsized. Seeking white female for sex.)
by Dave March 16, 2006
A class of a large, and growing, number of people, particularly children, who are unable to read or write.
Illiteracy is beginning to take over the United States of America. After seeing all those Hooked On Phonics advertisements, I have concluded that our country is becoming more and more filled with illiterate brats who deserve a good slapping upside the head.
Apparently, illiteracy is so common that there is evidence of illiteracy in China (the world's #2 superpower). Illiterate children is said to be the result of lazy, irresponsible parents, therefore resulting in much lack of education. It's times like this that, although education sucks (because of schools and how boring they are and having to put up with punk-ass bitches with cruel attitudes), it is very necessary.

If you had a kid who couldn't read a word, wouldn't you like to slap him upside the head too?
"I don't blame Chinese illiterates; those symbols ARE hard to read. LOL "
-me
by Dave May 06, 2004
To rub a bodypart, or body, specially with gentle & soft techniques. Sometimes massages are hard & may hurt, but are useful in the end.
"I wanna give my girlfriend a full-body massage. Oh yeah, I want to rub every part of her....I'll massage her fine, sleek ass, then turn her over to massage that fine rack of hers, and finally, go full-bore on pleasing that hot succulent pussy of hers; I'll rub it up'n'down and listen to her sexy moanings and I'll have my day made. LOL"
-me
by Dave February 13, 2004
A term referring to the kind and fair.
"The meek shall inherit the earth..."
by Dave March 26, 2004

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