13 definitions by by kenny spoffo-grumpbeetle
A version of Bruce Springsteen's song "Born to Run" sung by Pork Scotch, the world's ugliest dickhead. First sung as a drunken karaoke performance and later recorded at Goofy Granny's expense. The record sold precisely 2 copies.
I've made a record therefore I'm young and cool.
But what the hell does the song mean?
It means I was born to Scotch. Scotch means to be cool. I was born to be cool.
OK Dickwad, you need to look up "Scotching" on Urban Dictionary.
But what the hell does the song mean?
It means I was born to Scotch. Scotch means to be cool. I was born to be cool.
OK Dickwad, you need to look up "Scotching" on Urban Dictionary.
by by kenny spoffo-grumpbeetle August 20, 2009
A South African word for 'bollocks'. The word was coined in the 1980s by South Africans who came to realise that English men called Maxwell talk nothing but bollocks.
Pork Scotch: I've got a girlfriend.
South African person: Maxwells! That's not a girl. Its a vampire turkey from hell.
South African person: Maxwells! That's not a girl. Its a vampire turkey from hell.
by by kenny spoffo-grumpbeetle May 29, 2009
Eggs.
Grandad curry-hat's idea of black magic is having eggs placed in his hedge by Nogtard as a revenge prank for having bourbons posted through his letterbox.
The old twat was so terrified he phoned the landlady next door, shaking in his turban.
Grandad curry-hat's idea of black magic is having eggs placed in his hedge by Nogtard as a revenge prank for having bourbons posted through his letterbox.
The old twat was so terrified he phoned the landlady next door, shaking in his turban.
by by kenny spoffo-grumpbeetle July 31, 2009
The vehicle driven by the Porky Scotcher. It is a white van with a very peculiar arrangement of windows. It is known as a half-car because it has too many windows to be considered a van and not enough to be considered a car.
Monk: That's a weird vehicle. Neither van nor car but somewhere in between.
Dad: Yes Monk, the technical name is 'half-car'. Its a vehicle especially for fat security guards who think they're too important to drive vans.
Dad: Yes Monk, the technical name is 'half-car'. Its a vehicle especially for fat security guards who think they're too important to drive vans.
by by kenny spoffo-grumpbeetle August 1, 2009
The largest member of the slug family, a slimy purple beast weighing over 4 pounds. This species is believed to have a world population of one, the individual in question residing in the mouth of a fat black moron known as Nogtard. It is force-fed a diet of Sargent's apple pies, Hill's ginger biscuits and Smart Price vanilla ice cream.
You can keep your tarantulas, pythons and grizzlies. The most fearsome, disgusting creature in the world is Nogtard's Tongue.
by by kenny spoffo-grumpbeetle August 1, 2009
A retard who cleans the bogs at Asda. These mentally-unfortunate individuals can often be seen fishing out unflushable Hill biscuits with a net and eating them for lunch.
What's David doing?
Fishing out the Snuf biscuits for lunch. Can't get enough of those lovely bourbons. Typical Asda bog cleaner!
Fishing out the Snuf biscuits for lunch. Can't get enough of those lovely bourbons. Typical Asda bog cleaner!
by by kenny spoffo-grumpbeetle May 16, 2009