brett burkhardt's definitions
To spend money to "improve" or "pimp out" a worthless item such as a crappy car, dump of a house, or other such item. Usually done by spending more to upgrade an item than was paid for it but still not actually increasing the value of the item with these upgrades.
After Sam spent $1900 to pimp out his $300 rusted out, beat up, 1982 Celebrity all he got for his trouble was a gilded turd and credit card debt.
"My sister is a moron."
"Why's that?"
"She bought a $30,000 burnt out house in the worst part of town and spent $100,000 making it livable. Now she can't sell it because everyone who could afford it doesn't want to live anywhere near that part of town."
"Sounds like she's got a gilded turd on her hands."
"My sister is a moron."
"Why's that?"
"She bought a $30,000 burnt out house in the worst part of town and spent $100,000 making it livable. Now she can't sell it because everyone who could afford it doesn't want to live anywhere near that part of town."
"Sounds like she's got a gilded turd on her hands."
by Brett Burkhardt May 12, 2008
Get the Gilded Turd mug.Someone who spends all their time watching DIY shows, going to DIY websites, and reading DIY books but never actually does any DIY projects to completion.
Maggie’s roommate Sophia is a real DIY Dilettante. She’s got at least three dozen half finished projects lying around their apartment and she still hasn’t finished replacing the faucet in the 2nd bathroom.
"Honey, you need to face facts. You're a DIY Dilettante and you need to finish at least one of these projects. I mean, how hard is it to finish painting the living room wall?"
"Honey, you need to face facts. You're a DIY Dilettante and you need to finish at least one of these projects. I mean, how hard is it to finish painting the living room wall?"
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Get the DIY Dilettante mug.I was horrified when I saw that aunt Mary spent over a thousand dollars a month on crap from QVC but when she told me she returned all but $20 worth of stuff I knew she was a real QVC crack head.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Get the QVC Crack Head mug.The congressman was committing suicide by slut when he took those tranny hookers to the pay by the hour motel just three blocks down from the local tv station.
When Greg told us he doesn’t use condoms with the skanks he brings home from the bar we all knew he was committing suicide by slut.
When Greg told us he doesn’t use condoms with the skanks he brings home from the bar we all knew he was committing suicide by slut.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Get the Suicide by Slut mug.When a rich person, or a person who just thinks they are rich, bitches about things and expects special favors because they think they’re crazy rich.
You know someone’s going into a rich rage when they start talking about how much money they have in the bank.
“I demand to talk to your supervisor! How dare you put a hold on my credit card for my payment being a little late! Do you know how much of your company’s stock I own? I have over $3 million in your bank!”
“One moment sir....Hey, I’ve got a douche on the line who’s worked himself up into a major rich rage...yeah, he’s pissed that his card won’t work but his account is over 38 days delinquent and his checking is negative and his savings is empty....yeah...he’s a real tool.”
“I demand to talk to your supervisor! How dare you put a hold on my credit card for my payment being a little late! Do you know how much of your company’s stock I own? I have over $3 million in your bank!”
“One moment sir....Hey, I’ve got a douche on the line who’s worked himself up into a major rich rage...yeah, he’s pissed that his card won’t work but his account is over 38 days delinquent and his checking is negative and his savings is empty....yeah...he’s a real tool.”
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Get the Rich Rage mug.A guy who isn’t thin or wiry but just plain bony but who’s great in bed or has an amazing endowment.
“What do you see in him?”
“He’s a real bony pony and I’m going to ride him until dawn.”
When Carlos’ reputation of being a bony pony got out he couldn’t get a night to himself.
“He’s a real bony pony and I’m going to ride him until dawn.”
When Carlos’ reputation of being a bony pony got out he couldn’t get a night to himself.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Get the bony pony mug.When Maryann saw the black velvet painting of Elvis, Princess Diana, and Dale Earnhardt drinking beers while floating on clouds in heaven, she just couldn’t pass it up. It was just TOO great a Trailer Treasure to not buy.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Get the Trailer Treasure mug.