brett burkhardt's definitions
“Don’t date her, she’s a crusty tube sock.”
“I’ve known some whores in my day but that guy is the biggest crusty tube sock I’ve ever met.”
“I’ve known some whores in my day but that guy is the biggest crusty tube sock I’ve ever met.”
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Get the Crusty tube sock mug.“Dude, I was so psyched when that chick from the bar said she wanted to do anal but she was a total clay pit and now I need to buy some new sheets.”
Everyone knew that Brent was a clay pit, that’s why they never wanted to fuck him.
Everyone knew that Brent was a clay pit, that’s why they never wanted to fuck him.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Get the Clay Pit mug.Usually used when fighting or about to fight, in this case it is used when hanging up on a rude or abusive caller. Can be used as a passive aggressive weapon if calls are being monitored or if a manager is nearby and you don't want them to hear you rip said caller a new asshole
If this bitch raises her voice to me again, I'll release the beast and hang up on her ass.
"So then I told her that we don't allow non-service dogs in this hotel and she flipped out on me, calling me a cunt and all this other shit."
"What did you do?"
"I released the beast. I wasn't going to stand there listing to someone scream at me over shit I don't control."
"So then I told her that we don't allow non-service dogs in this hotel and she flipped out on me, calling me a cunt and all this other shit."
"What did you do?"
"I released the beast. I wasn't going to stand there listing to someone scream at me over shit I don't control."
by Brett Burkhardt May 12, 2008
Get the Release the Beast mug.Kara has a purse pooch that she dresses up in tiny feather boas and tiaras.
“If that purse pooch yips one more damn time I swear to Jesus I’m going to use it to beat her owner to death.”
“If that purse pooch yips one more damn time I swear to Jesus I’m going to use it to beat her owner to death.”
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Get the Purse Pooch mug.“...and then we were all at the bar, and Misty looked hot in that dress and everyone was looking at her. Then Laura blew a guy in the men’s room but, oh my god, this guy bought us all shots and then..”
“Wait, so Laura cheated on her boyfriend.”
“Oops, I wasn’t supposed to tell anyone” mumbled the Ratty Cathy.
No one ever told Clayton anything because he turned into a ratty Cathy after just one drink.
“Wait, so Laura cheated on her boyfriend.”
“Oops, I wasn’t supposed to tell anyone” mumbled the Ratty Cathy.
No one ever told Clayton anything because he turned into a ratty Cathy after just one drink.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Get the Ratty Cathy mug.Someone who spends all their time watching DIY shows, going to DIY websites, and reading DIY books but never actually does any DIY projects to completion.
Maggie’s roommate Sophia is a real DIY Dilettante. She’s got at least three dozen half finished projects lying around their apartment and she still hasn’t finished replacing the faucet in the 2nd bathroom.
"Honey, you need to face facts. You're a DIY Dilettante and you need to finish at least one of these projects. I mean, how hard is it to finish painting the living room wall?"
"Honey, you need to face facts. You're a DIY Dilettante and you need to finish at least one of these projects. I mean, how hard is it to finish painting the living room wall?"
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Get the DIY Dilettante mug.To spend money to "improve" or "pimp out" a worthless item such as a crappy car, dump of a house, or other such item. Usually done by spending more to upgrade an item than was paid for it but still not actually increasing the value of the item with these upgrades.
After Sam spent $1900 to pimp out his $300 rusted out, beat up, 1982 Celebrity all he got for his trouble was a gilded turd and credit card debt.
"My sister is a moron."
"Why's that?"
"She bought a $30,000 burnt out house in the worst part of town and spent $100,000 making it livable. Now she can't sell it because everyone who could afford it doesn't want to live anywhere near that part of town."
"Sounds like she's got a gilded turd on her hands."
"My sister is a moron."
"Why's that?"
"She bought a $30,000 burnt out house in the worst part of town and spent $100,000 making it livable. Now she can't sell it because everyone who could afford it doesn't want to live anywhere near that part of town."
"Sounds like she's got a gilded turd on her hands."
by Brett Burkhardt May 12, 2008
Get the Gilded Turd mug.