brett burkhardt's definitions
Kara has a purse pooch that she dresses up in tiny feather boas and tiaras.
“If that purse pooch yips one more damn time I swear to Jesus I’m going to use it to beat her owner to death.”
“If that purse pooch yips one more damn time I swear to Jesus I’m going to use it to beat her owner to death.”
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Get the Purse Poochmug. A guy who isn’t thin or wiry but just plain bony but who’s great in bed or has an amazing endowment.
“What do you see in him?”
“He’s a real bony pony and I’m going to ride him until dawn.”
When Carlos’ reputation of being a bony pony got out he couldn’t get a night to himself.
“He’s a real bony pony and I’m going to ride him until dawn.”
When Carlos’ reputation of being a bony pony got out he couldn’t get a night to himself.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Get the bony ponymug. A person who has a thousand coupons that they drag everywhere with them and gets pissed if the one they try and use can’t be accepted.
What should have been a 3 minute stop to get a pack of smokes turned into a 20 minute ordeal because the Coupon Cunt in front of me refused to accept the fact that the store will not accept a coupon for cat food that expired in 2003.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Get the Coupon Cuntmug. Someone who’s significant other has gone on a serious health kick and spends all their time working out.
Rich was happy that his wife was interested in getting the baby weight off but the fact that she spent 20 hours a week at the gym left him a gym widower.
Sara loved buff men but hated being a gym widow all the time.
Sara loved buff men but hated being a gym widow all the time.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Get the Gym Widowmug. Named after the Greek prophetess. A way of saying “I told you so” or to remind people not to complain to your ass about shit because you warned them all about the problems you saw coming a mile away.
I filed a Cassandra Claim when you hired his dumb ass so don't start in with me. I told you he was a sticky fingered shifty bastard and you still hired him so it’s your fault that he stole over $9,000 worth of stock.
I’ve got a Cassandra Claim on your boyfriend cheating on you, Beth, because I warned your ass that I saw his car parked in front of the porn store just about every night on my way home from work.
I’ve got a Cassandra Claim on your boyfriend cheating on you, Beth, because I warned your ass that I saw his car parked in front of the porn store just about every night on my way home from work.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Get the Cassandra Claimmug. When you’re waiting on hold for someone and know that the second you answer another call or check another line they’ll answer and hang up when you don’t answer right away.
I’ve been a hold hostage for 8 minutes now. I know that if that whore in accounts receivable picks up when I try and answer this other line she’ll disconnect.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Get the Hold Hostagemug. A person is whorephaned when they are left behind at the bar while their friend/ride leaves to have a one night stand with a stranger
Tina hated going to the bar with her hot roommate because she always ended up being whorephaned with no ride home by 1 am.
by Brett Burkhardt March 9, 2008
Get the whorephanedmug.