bachelor bob's definitions
malk
noun
Any milk alternative made from a non-dairy source (e.g. soy, rice, oats, spelt, bulgar, hemp, coconut, almond, cashew, hazelnut, macadamia, pistachio, sunflower, etc.). Since the National Milk Producers Federation is trying to convince the Food and Drug Administration to outlaw the labeling of any product as "milk" that does not come from a mammary gland, a new name is needed. And since humans should not be drinking liquid from any mammary gland other than a human's, "malk" is definitely the healthiest and least gross choice after a person is weaned.
noun
Any milk alternative made from a non-dairy source (e.g. soy, rice, oats, spelt, bulgar, hemp, coconut, almond, cashew, hazelnut, macadamia, pistachio, sunflower, etc.). Since the National Milk Producers Federation is trying to convince the Food and Drug Administration to outlaw the labeling of any product as "milk" that does not come from a mammary gland, a new name is needed. And since humans should not be drinking liquid from any mammary gland other than a human's, "malk" is definitely the healthiest and least gross choice after a person is weaned.
Mom: "Do you want whole or chocolate milk on your Frosted Flakes?"
Son: "Seriously?! Do I look like a calf or are you just trying to make me diabetic? I'll take hemp malk on my organic, non-GMO, fair trade muesli, thank you very much."
Son: "Seriously?! Do I look like a calf or are you just trying to make me diabetic? I'll take hemp malk on my organic, non-GMO, fair trade muesli, thank you very much."
by Bachelor boB January 3, 2017
Get the malkmug. A sexual partner used as exercise equipment, specifically for aerobic, standing, rear-entry penetration. To qualify, the penetrator must manipulate his partner's nipples.
co-worker: "Bob, you're looking fit."
Bob: "You bet! It's amazing what 10 minutes a day on my nipliptical does for the glutes."
Bob: "You bet! It's amazing what 10 minutes a day on my nipliptical does for the glutes."
by Bachelor boB May 19, 2007
Get the niplipticalmug. Any medication in pill form that causes a penile erection (e.g. Viagra). After the once popular breath mint "tic tac."
Viagra would be even more popular if it came in a clear dispenser, had about 100 pills for $1, was made in an array of flavors, freshened your breath, and had just 1 calorie each. Yeah, dic dacs should be sold at every check-out line.
by Bachelor boB March 7, 2010
Get the dic dacmug. A country so archaic, illiberal, and self-defeating that it had to rename itself in order to stop giving turkeys a bad name.
Don't insult turkeys -- relatively intelligent and beautiful birds -- by associating them with Türkiyes. If you need an appropriate comparison, think of 'Sand Russians' when you think of Türkiyes.
by Bachelor boB June 2, 2022
Get the Türkiyemug. A dysphemism for infatuation, specifically a man's for a woman. Used to express such extreme infatuation that the man would go to any length to please the woman in an attempt to enter into a relationship with her. Discovering "her" to actually be a transvestite or transgendered male and the heterosexual male then proceeding to perform oral sex on the "woman" is the quintessential example of extreme infatuation. This implies that any lesser requirement for a relationship is well within the man's willingness to provide.
boB: "Jacey is so hot, I'd suck her dick!"
Paul: "Yes, she has many fine qualities, but that's certainly beyond the pale."
boB: "Yeah, well, we'll see who taps that ass first."
Paul: "Ironically, that may be 'her' primary sexual orifice. Let's hope you can achieve copulatory success without resorting to such lengths."
boB: "Wa?"
Paul: "Yes, she has many fine qualities, but that's certainly beyond the pale."
boB: "Yeah, well, we'll see who taps that ass first."
Paul: "Ironically, that may be 'her' primary sexual orifice. Let's hope you can achieve copulatory success without resorting to such lengths."
boB: "Wa?"
by Bachelor boB January 7, 2011
Get the I'd suck her dickmug. ca•rap•ture | kə 'RAP chər |
noun
1. The highly publicized 'Carmageddon' event of Los Angeles, California's closure of I-405 beginning on July 16, 2011, which was in actuality as much of a non-event as the highly publicized 'Rapture' event of May 21, 2011 (i.e. car-rapture). Emphasis, both in pronunciation and interpretation, are placed on the crap component.
noun
1. The highly publicized 'Carmageddon' event of Los Angeles, California's closure of I-405 beginning on July 16, 2011, which was in actuality as much of a non-event as the highly publicized 'Rapture' event of May 21, 2011 (i.e. car-rapture). Emphasis, both in pronunciation and interpretation, are placed on the crap component.
Just like the recently predicted Rapture, lots of live T.V. reporters were standing by for the I-405's Carmageddon. Unfortunately for their ratings, it turned out to be a Carapture.
by Bachelor boB July 17, 2011
Get the Carapturemug. An utterance of encouragement to treat a person/thing as being one's permanent possession/property, free to be mistreated/misused, especially when both the encourager and encouragee know such not to be the case. Commonly done when loss/destruction of a partner/object is imminent, or when one does not take the partner's next partner/item's next owner into consideration.
Kris: I don't think it's going to work between Jamil and me. Our relationship seems so tenuous.
Paul: When you know it's all but over, bone it like you own it!
Andreas: I've been using Paul's car while he's on a 5-week hike, but I'm afraid that it's about to die of its own accord.
Booby: If it's on its way out anyway, bone it like you own it.
Paul: When you know it's all but over, bone it like you own it!
Andreas: I've been using Paul's car while he's on a 5-week hike, but I'm afraid that it's about to die of its own accord.
Booby: If it's on its way out anyway, bone it like you own it.
by Bachelor boB September 21, 2012
Get the bone it like you own itmug.