Officiousnado

A pretentious non-entity; somebody who does not completely lord it over all he surveys at the workplace or at a social gathering but would obviously like to, he being a sort of “straw-boss” of officious ceremonies, or, if not exactly so, something quite close to being so.
Why, if I did not know any better, my man, I’d call you an officiousnado, but the only reason I’d rather not is that I don’t particularly like spouting compound words or otherwise inventing neologisms while I’m incensed enough to make them up over such an insignificant, pushy little fellow as you obviously are.
by Zamboozee April 15, 2011
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Bottleism

A way of doing something worthwhile for oneself regardless of the consequences, despite running the risk of being ignored by all and sundry as a result.
Without bottleism, my boy, you're nobody, and it is better by far to have a bit of bottle in you and to be somebody, than not to ever have any bottle at all and to bottle out of life altogether, and so risk being accused by your peers of never having lived.
by Zamboozee May 04, 2011
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Brainilessness

A lack of presence of mind; a state of mind where a person’s marbles can be heard rattling around in his head just before he mislays them; a point in a person’s thinking where mindfulness does not naturally occur.
I can see by your present demeanour that, at the present time, you are in a state of brainilessness, whereby your mind has gone for a walk on the wild side without your knowledge or the consent of your intellect.
by Zamboozee May 22, 2011
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double-dumbass

A handy phrase meaning that the insult of being called a stupid arsehole, or (an alternative interpretation) an asinine fool, can be doubled and can be reflected back to whence it came in a way that turns a totally uncalled for insult flung at its intended target back upon its perpetrator, possibly also in a way not fully understood by its vulgarian receiver, he not being up on such things as witty retorts, or such logical insinuations as this phrase supposedly represents. However, if no other rebuffs spring to mind, in a pinch it does the job nicely.
Watch what you say to me, you double-dumbass, as I wasn’t even talking to you, I was talking to myself!
by Zamboozee April 24, 2011
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Troubadour

A garlic-eating folk singer of ancient origins; as a group they generally being ones flourishing principally in the Middle Ages in the South of France writing catchy tunes and jingles in a complex metric form for court musicians.
I am not a not a man with a pointy stick wanting to poke unwilling participants in the gladiatorial games with it (and thus who do not like it up them), I am a troubadour, that is, one whom sings soppy love songs to courtly people with nothing much better to do than to listen to those who sing sad songs about unrequited love in drafty old castles by the sea.
by Zamboozee April 01, 2011
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Cretinous-Cretinalias

A Latinised-sounding high-brow word for a dumb-arsed dumb-bunny, usually being one with incipient learning difficulties, who thus is going to spend half his life in a mental funk because he can do nothing right and the other half tormented by the question of why he can do nothing right, and so, in the evolutionary stakes, is in fact a born loser.
I suppose that in describing your behaviour you’d have to be called a cretinous-cretinalias, if only because you look so confoundedly like a classic one.
by Zamboozee April 11, 2011
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Escargatoire

A snail hostelry; being a place where snails can snuggle up to each other and relax without fear of being trodden on with the hobnail boots of a passing deity, rather like as with mankind with his relation to a country inn on coming back from a hard day’s labour.
If a thoughtless snail can have faith in where it is going when it crosses the road to get to its escargatoire, why then cannot a man, who is much smarter, cross the street without going in fear of his life? Is it because he thinks he lives in fear, or that he does not think like a snail?
by Zamboozee February 19, 2011
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