Zamboozee's definitions

Frenchish

A word or behaviour with a French origin or which has French connotations to it, like ordering French fries at posh restaurants instead of plain old chips.

This funny sounding word “Jouissance” has an old Frenchish origin to it, as if English words describing the same sort of thing were not good enough for you, and you had to go all Francophile over it.

by Zamboozee June 15, 2011

Escargatoire

A snail hostelry; being a place where snails can snuggle up to each other and relax without fear of being trodden on with the hobnail boots of a passing deity, rather like as with mankind with his relation to a country inn on coming back from a hard day’s labour.

If a thoughtless snail can have faith in where it is going when it crosses the road to get to its escargatoire, why then cannot a man, who is much smarter, cross the street without going in fear of his life? Is it because he thinks he lives in fear, or that he does not think like a snail?

by Zamboozee March 5, 2011

double-dumbass

A handy phrase meaning that the insult of being called a stupid arsehole, or (an alternative interpretation) an asinine fool, can be doubled and can be reflected back to whence it came in a way that turns a totally uncalled for insult flung at its intended target back upon its perpetrator, possibly also in a way not fully understood by its vulgarian receiver, he not being up on such things as witty retorts, or such logical insinuations as this phrase supposedly represents. However, if no other rebuffs spring to mind, in a pinch it does the job nicely.

Watch what you say to me, you double-dumbass, as I wasn’t even talking to you, I was talking to myself!

by Zamboozee May 17, 2011

double mind Jedi

Disrupting or attacking the opposition from within by secretly infiltrating its organization or territory through stealth, and then using its own weapons against it.

To eradicate all those who collaborate with an enemy by assassinating anybody who collaborated with the enemy is a double mind Jedi. As it is commonly known.

by Zamboozee May 28, 2011

Vermicelli

Another name for thin spaghetti, which on inspection looks much like small worms one eats, rather than ones that eat one; also, it not being a word derived from an Italianate word that means the plural of musical vermin playing the cello badly, although this could become a popular misconception of its meaning if one put one’s mind to it.

“You’ve burnt the vermicelli,” the banker said to his wife, who had heard it all before, as she did it deliberately every Friday to annoy him whenever he annoyed her over exceeding her weekly housekeeping allowance.

by Zamboozee April 15, 2011

Plagiarism

Intellectual copyright theft of the worst kind, or passing off; a ripe forgery in the literary sphere; taking something one took the time and trouble to write out again in a slightly different form and claiming it as one’s own inimitable work as coming from the sweat of one’s brow, and so then, in some vital respect, it must be one’s own work, if only because if one took the time and trouble to do it again in a slightly different way then it must be one’s own intellectual copyright material to do with as one wishes, and so legally, in consequence, it is therefore still intellectual theft from its original owner, and decidedly so also, but then becomes serious only if it is found out.

It was not that the author disagreed with what was written one jot, as he has written it himself, it was that someone else had taken it and published it in his own name, which was plagiarism of the worst kind, and especially so since its original author had not been paid a penny for it either.

by Zamboozee April 5, 2011

Dying

The ultimate state of excitement in a person’s life before a more relaxing interlude takes place; or, a very important event not to be missed by not paying enough attention to it at the time, as, in the rush someone might inadvertently miss the moment of his own death by mistake (or, what is inherent in the process of dying, the precise moment of his death), and so would find himself in a right state because he would not quite know what to do with himself next, he being dead, as he having missed paying enough attention at the time to the second most important event in his life, which would clearly be a right kettle of fish.

Die inadvertently, my word! that would be the last thing I’d do, as dying is a thing that must be done right, even if one has not particularly managed to live well.

by Zamboozee April 15, 2011