Vulch5's definitions

Californian birder

The act of fornication in which a standing male is mating with a female lying face down on a bed. The male puts his hands to his eyes to form binoculars while the female makes annoying bird sounds. When the male is about to climax, he pulls a shotgun from underneath the bed, unbenounced to the female, and fires it into the air as he ejaculates. If done correctly, the female will involuntary deficate all over the bed.

I tricked my girlfriend into making bird sounds while I fucked her from behind. It was so annoying I decided the Californian Birder was the only solution. Though she screamed when I fired the shotgun, she didn't deficate. I'll get her next time.

by Vulch5 October 28, 2015

Pigeon Basher

A person who walks the streets of Chicago wielding a baseball bat and crushing pigeons out of the air as they flee in fear. Often confused with "pigeon putters" who are often seen following closely behind pigeon bashers and hitting the stupid fucking pigeons' severed heads down the street with a golf club.

Man, I wish the city would hire some more pigeon bashers to sweep the streets clean of these flying rats.

by Vulch5 October 28, 2015

Canniboliceman

A police officer caught eating bacon at the local diner before his shift.

Is that pig eating another pig? What a fucking canniboliceman.

by Vulch5 October 28, 2015

Prince Edward

When a spouse takes his partner on a ferriswheel, leans in for a kiss when they get to the top, and punches her in the face as soon as she closes her eyes to receive the nonexistent kiss.

My wife cheated on me with my brother, so I gave that bitch the ol' Prince Edward . The best part is, she'll never ask me to ride on a stupid fucking ferriswheel ever again.

by Vulch5 October 28, 2015

Doc Holliday

When a man takes his spouse on a train ride, ties her up and gags her, and kicks her off the train into a field of angry buffalo while firing a pair of six shooters into the air.

I totally gave that bitch the ol' Doc Holliday. I just wish I was there to see that trampled skank after the buffalo were finished with her.

by Vulch5 October 29, 2015

Poochpunter

When you walk across the street, kidnap your neighbor's yapping dog, carry it to the third floor of your apartment, and viciously punt it off the balcony.

Yeah, call me a poochpunter. But fuck you and your asshole dog.

by Vulch5 October 29, 2015

Browncrown

A royal crown made of dried up human feces.

Are you going to don your browncrown for the royal ball this evening your majesty?

by Vulch5 October 29, 2015