32 definitions by Vampira Andres
by Vampira Andres December 5, 2017
The birthday of Jesus. A day of giving, forgiving, feasts, delicious food, enjoying sparkling juice, and spending time with the people you care about.
by Vampira Andres November 29, 2017
A woman who only lets her kids listen to educational music and causes traffic jams at the local elementary school because they want to make sure their "perfect children" don't get hurt or killed while walking 10 feet to get to the door. Her kids are spoiled brats and act like the little shits they are in public. Soccer moms generally don't have a job, bleach their hair, and drive luxury mini vans. They're referred to as trophy wives as they wear tons of makeup and get their hair bleached once a week to make regular moms like mine feel bad. They don't let their kids use the internet because it's "violent" and "sexual", the kids can only watch PG and G rated movies, and play Minecraft for a video game.
Me: *Listening to Nicki Minaj
Soccer Mom: TURN THAT OFF, MY PRECIOUS BABY DOESN'T NEED TO HERE THAT!!
Me: *Turns it up
Soccer Mom: If you don't turn that off, I'm calling the police
Me: Bitch, shut the fuck up ya nigga!
Soccer Mom: TURN THAT OFF, MY PRECIOUS BABY DOESN'T NEED TO HERE THAT!!
Me: *Turns it up
Soccer Mom: If you don't turn that off, I'm calling the police
Me: Bitch, shut the fuck up ya nigga!
by Vampira Andres April 24, 2018
Usually whiny and entitled. Here's how to spot one:
Male: has a mullet, obsessed with dirt bikes and trucks, plays Fortnite 24/7, watches dirt bike videos on Tik-Tok, listens to shitty country music, wears under armour, and thinks he's cool because he's friends with the richest kids in his class.
Female: has long hair, uses Tik-Tok, has the latest iPhone, listens to Billie Elish, gets offended by everything, posts on Instagram about "being depressed", drinks Starbucks everyday, posts duck lip pictures on Snapchat, wears only Acrombe and Fitch, and only hangs out with the "popular girls"
Male: has a mullet, obsessed with dirt bikes and trucks, plays Fortnite 24/7, watches dirt bike videos on Tik-Tok, listens to shitty country music, wears under armour, and thinks he's cool because he's friends with the richest kids in his class.
Female: has long hair, uses Tik-Tok, has the latest iPhone, listens to Billie Elish, gets offended by everything, posts on Instagram about "being depressed", drinks Starbucks everyday, posts duck lip pictures on Snapchat, wears only Acrombe and Fitch, and only hangs out with the "popular girls"
My youngest brother is an annoying kid.
by Vampira Andres July 7, 2023
by Vampira Andres September 14, 2021
There are 10 things that can cause an ass explosion:
1. Laxatives
2. Food allergies/intolerances
3. Medication side effects
4. Oily/greasy food
5. Eating too much plant fiber
6. Infectious diseases/food poisoning
7. Exposure to certain toxins
8. Chronic gastrointestinal conditions (IBS for example)
9. An imbalance of gut bacteria
10. Over-eating
11. Hormonal fluctuations (females)
Generally, you can tell if an ass explosion is going to happen, symptoms include:
Gas
Gurgling in the lower abdomen
Pressure behind the asshole that feels like something solid is trying to get out
Bloating
Slight abdominal cramping
1. Laxatives
2. Food allergies/intolerances
3. Medication side effects
4. Oily/greasy food
5. Eating too much plant fiber
6. Infectious diseases/food poisoning
7. Exposure to certain toxins
8. Chronic gastrointestinal conditions (IBS for example)
9. An imbalance of gut bacteria
10. Over-eating
11. Hormonal fluctuations (females)
Generally, you can tell if an ass explosion is going to happen, symptoms include:
Gas
Gurgling in the lower abdomen
Pressure behind the asshole that feels like something solid is trying to get out
Bloating
Slight abdominal cramping
by Vampira Andres May 29, 2023