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2 definitions by V queezy

 
1.
The act of separating a disgustingly repulsive female from her highly attractive female friend in order to give your buddy a much better chance of initiating a sexual encounter with the attractive girl. If the unattractive friend was still around she would likely be doing copious amounts of cock blocking and being generally unsightly and annoying, which would not bode well for your friends efforts and ultimate goal of penetration, and is in fact the reason why most monkeys are thrown.

Throwing a monkey is a sacrifice you are making for your friend and can be accomplished in many ways. Throwing a monkey for someone is a highly respectable act and lets people know that you are unselfish, reliable, and when it comes crunch time you can come through in the clutch. You will likely get at least one favor in return for successfully throwing a monkey.

This term is in relation to throwing a monkey in Call of Duty Black Ops Zombie mode, which in dire situations you throw to force the ugly zombies that you know are about to be a potential problem or that are annoying you to remove themselves from your immediate location and follow the monkey so you can do something satisfying like hit the mystery box or upgrade your ray gun. Monkeys are often thrown when you need to revive a friend to help him get back into action.
1.

Garrett: "Yo dude I think I might have that hot ass girl in the bag I've been talking to tonight, but her ugly ass friend won't leave her side so I can really start spitting my A game and seal the deal, can you throw a monkey for me?"

Foster: "Yeah dude, I'll go talk to her and get her to follow me to the other bar upstairs and buy her some drinks."

Garrett: "Thanks man I owe you one"

2.

Foster: "Yo dude I need you to throw a monkey for me man asap"

Garrett: "I got you dawg, you helped me out last time. I'm gonna slip my wallet in her coat pocket secretly and tell the bouncer i saw her steal it off of the counter and make sure she gets kicked out, no worries man I got your back"
by V queezy January 17, 2011
 
2.
The action of still being so intoxicated from the previous night of debauchery that when awoken on a workday you somehow drag your horrifically miserable self in to work and take periodic naps in the seated position in the employee bathroom of your workplace throughout the day, along with the foresite to wake yourself through the alarm function on your cell phone in a timely manner.

When referring to bathroom breathers, silent and vibrate mode are not your friends, they are both obvious pitfalls that should be avoided if at all possible. 20 minutes is the absolute maximum time you are encouraged to set your phone alarm for, as to avoid detection.

If your situation allows you to push this time limit even further, then by all means grab those extra minutes, but it is not recommended and should be considered objectively on a case by case basis.

If you exceed 20 minutes or even indulge too abundantly in this secretive tactic then you will undoubtedly be found out, possibly get fired, as well as tip your hand to the bossman of your establishment, and effectively ruin this cherished practice for future employees of said business.

Bathroom breathers are most often put in to effect by college students working bull shit jobs between classes or over the summer, as well as telemarketers and pharmacy technicians.
Garrett: "Yo TJ I need a bathroom breather man... I was out til 5 am last night beer bonging tequila and assaulting that random bar sluts vagina"

TJ: Word man, you've only taken 4 today, I think you'll be fine taking a fifth. If bossman comes lookin for you for something that matters I'll pretend like I gotta piss really bad and violently fake trip into your stall to alert you, no worries bro.

Garrett: Thanks man, I owe you next week."
by V queezy April 30, 2011