Umbongo - England's definitions

cockology

The fourth science after Physics, Chemistry, and Biology. Cockology relates to the study of the male genital organ.

"Jessica sucks dick like she got a PHD in Cockology!"

by Umbongo - England April 2, 2003

Rag Week

Rag Week. This is a special religious festival in every woman's calender. It is celebrated for one week in every month, and is dedicated to the Greek Goddess 'Tam-Pax' (also known as 'Queen of Bitches').

During this week, females of child-bearing age offer blood to symbolise their sistership with each other, and their devotion to the Goddess.

A special sport called 'man-baiting' is also practised during the festivities, where women must say everything a man does is wrong (even if it isn't, or she asked him to do it 5 minutes earlier).

"I love going down on my girlfriend during rag week.

by Umbongo - England April 1, 2003

splidge flanks

This is the unsightly excess fat that protrudes sideways at the meeting of the thigh and buttock. More commonly found on women due to their higher natural body fat.

Splidge flanks are usually caused by excess fat, though they can also be caused by ill-fitting trousers or jeans.

"Check out that fine ass! Too bad about the splidge flanks."

by Umbongo - England March 31, 2003

fuck buddy

A person who is not your boyfriend or girlfriend (or farmyard animal), with whom you have sexual relations, on the mutual understanding that you both want sex and nothing more.

Strictly, for the term 'fuck buddy' to apply, both people involved have to be single.

"I ain't had any dick in weeks! I'll give Mike a call. He's my fuck-buddy."

by Umbongo - England April 2, 2003

whopper

An exclamation used at the sight of a male blessed in the trouser regions.

An adjective used to describe the above average size of a penis.

"Even though Julie never ate fast food, she'd always jump at the chance to swallow a whopper."

by Umbongo - England March 30, 2003

y-fronts

Male undergarment distinguised by a 'y' shaped penis-flap at the front, which allows easy access for BJs or golden showers.

May cause infertility due to ballsack restriction.

"Do you think I'm sexy if I wear these y-fronts on my head?"

by Umbongo - England March 30, 2003

clitoris

A fictional vaginal area invented by Feminists circa 1963 in order to confound men in the bedroom, and therefore justify the uselessness of the male species by their inability to locate it.

Supposedly, rythmic pressure applied to a clitoris may provide headache relief in the female species.

"Along with the City of Atlantis, the clitoris is one of mankinds greatest myths."

by Umbongo - England March 30, 2003