Umbongo - England's definitions

mahusive

A splicing of the words 'massive' and 'huge'. Used to indicate that something is large in measurement, and that the size need be excitedly proclaimed.

"Did you see that burger fat Jake ate? It was mahusive!"

by Umbongo - England March 31, 2003

Going Commando

If a person is 'going commando', they are not wearing any underwear.

It is called 'going commando' because of an old practice in the army, where, so you didn't shit your underwear in battle, you didn't wear any - and therefore could boast that you didn't shit your pants.

Also a known cure for vpl.

"I'm gonna wear those really tight shorts and go commando to show off my bulge."

by Umbongo - England April 1, 2003

slag

Usually used in reference to a lady who has a revolving door to her bedroom. Though less common, 'slag' may also be applied to males who spread their seed too thinly and on bad soil.

"She slept with, John, Rick, Tom and Peter, and that was before breakfast. She's such a slag."

by Umbongo - England March 30, 2003

dong

Slang word for 'penis'. Not to be confused with the the other male navigation organ the 'brain', (though often they can be used interchangably).

Also the sound when a musical bell is struck.

Sisquo - "Let me see that dong-da-dong-da-dong"

by Umbongo - England March 30, 2003

clitoris

A fictional vaginal area invented by Feminists circa 1963 in order to confound men in the bedroom, and therefore justify the uselessness of the male species by their inability to locate it.

Supposedly, rythmic pressure applied to a clitoris may provide headache relief in the female species.

"Along with the City of Atlantis, the clitoris is one of mankinds greatest myths."

by Umbongo - England March 30, 2003

99

Used in reference to homosexual sex. A play on the usually heterosexual 69 position, where the numerals represent the position of the sexual partners.

In England '99' chiefly is associated with a popular type of ice-cream sold by ice-cream vans that are usually seen in seaside resorts.

"I went up to the ice-cream man and asked him for a 99. He gave me a large creamy one."

by Umbongo - England March 30, 2003

Rag Week

Rag Week. This is a special religious festival in every woman's calender. It is celebrated for one week in every month, and is dedicated to the Greek Goddess 'Tam-Pax' (also known as 'Queen of Bitches').

During this week, females of child-bearing age offer blood to symbolise their sistership with each other, and their devotion to the Goddess.

A special sport called 'man-baiting' is also practised during the festivities, where women must say everything a man does is wrong (even if it isn't, or she asked him to do it 5 minutes earlier).

"I love going down on my girlfriend during rag week.

by Umbongo - England April 1, 2003