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Umbongo - England's definitions

y-fronts

More accurately the name 'y-fronts' comes from the shape of the undergarment which can be seen as the letter 'y' in much the same way a 't-shirt' may be viewed as the letter 't'.
"Dude, where did you buy those glittery y-fronts? I gots to get me some of those!"
by Umbongo - England March 31, 2003
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whopper

An exclamation used at the sight of a male blessed in the trouser regions.

An adjective used to describe the above average size of a penis.
"Even though Julie never ate fast food, she'd always jump at the chance to swallow a whopper."
by Umbongo - England March 30, 2003
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VPL

Acronym for Visible Panty Line.

Since the Nobel Prize for Outstanding Services to Mankind was awarded to Sisqo
for promoting the thong, VPL has
fortunately become a rarer sight on the bottoms of women across the globe.

VPL is where the panties of a woman are visible through the material of lower-body clothing. This is a definite fashion misdemeanor (as any gbf will tell you). VPL damages the aesthetic beauty of a fine rump, and can be very harmful to a woman's health.

Only in two cases is it allowable to have VPL - During Rag Week and severe hemorrhoids.

Known cures for VPL are the G-string, V-string, thong, tanga, T-back and
going commando.
- "Damn! Check dat booty!"
- "Nah, man. Can't see it for all that VPL."
by Umbongo - England April 1, 2003
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gbf

An acronym for Gay Best Friend. A homosexual man who is the best friend of a woman.

The GBF is a fashion accessory mainly found adorning city women having risen to popularity in the late 90's. GBF's are prized for having acute fashion sense and therefore suitable for shopping trips. Also known for better understanding the mysteries of female nature and therefore a good Agony Uncle and conversationalist.

GBF's are sometimes used as stand-in boyfriends at social/business/family gatherings when a woman has no real boyfriend.
"Mike is soooo hot. Too bad he's just my GBF."
by Umbongo - England March 31, 2003
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99

Used in reference to homosexual sex. A play on the usually heterosexual 69 position, where the numerals represent the position of the sexual partners.

In England '99' chiefly is associated with a popular type of ice-cream sold by ice-cream vans that are usually seen in seaside resorts.
"I went up to the ice-cream man and asked him for a 99. He gave me a large creamy one."
by Umbongo - England March 30, 2003
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clitoris

A fictional vaginal area invented by Feminists circa 1963 in order to confound men in the bedroom, and therefore justify the uselessness of the male species by their inability to locate it.

Supposedly, rythmic pressure applied to a clitoris may provide headache relief in the female species.
"Along with the City of Atlantis, the clitoris is one of mankinds greatest myths."
by Umbongo - England March 30, 2003
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Rag Week

Rag Week. This is a special religious festival in every woman's calender. It is celebrated for one week in every month, and is dedicated to the Greek Goddess 'Tam-Pax' (also known as 'Queen of Bitches').

During this week, females of child-bearing age offer blood to symbolise their sistership with each other, and their devotion to the Goddess.

A special sport called 'man-baiting' is also practised during the festivities, where women must say everything a man does is wrong (even if it isn't, or she asked him to do it 5 minutes earlier).
"I love going down on my girlfriend during rag week.
by Umbongo - England April 1, 2003
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