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Definitions by The one who speaks the truth

The manatee is a fat grey bastard!
Closely resembling a 200lb mass of grey rubber.
Got to go my Manatee has scrot rot

Farmers Chin 

For excessive hair growth! Use twice daily for desired effect!
Caution- Do not shave as could result in stubbely regrowth

Gordon Monthly 

A magazine full of the lives of the obeastily challeneged. a real gem in our time and makes great bedtime reading. Includes adverts for Elephantasticism Reducement Therapy, The Floating Rock and Farmers Chin. Includes articles by the following people:
Shiny Uncle David
Aunti Church
D.R O.Besewoman
Cousin Green
Red Barron
SPECIAL OFFER- Have a portrait of Gordon in your Home for only $9.99

The Floating Rock 

The ideal Christmas Gift. (does nothing productive)
Yours for £200 only at shittygifts.com!

Elephantasticism Reducement Therapy 

A type of therapy to reduce the size of ones nose. Another therapy which puts pounds on your hips in order for you to be fat is called Hipposuction! Call free on 01918767588 to order your brocure.
"Your conk is huge! you had better get Elephantasticism Reducement Therapy!"

Aunti Church 

In god we Trust. Ageing God fearer who writes a weekly poem for the fatty magazine Gordon Monthly
Our Fatty
Who eats unshaven
Hallowed Be thy name
Thy Kingdom ate
The garden gate
on earth as it is at easter
Give us this day our daily macdonalds
and munch out on watercress
or just try to eat less
for eating the kingdom
the cake and the glory
forever and ever Amen.