The Gonzo Lecture's definitions
A release of gas from the anal cavity renowned for its particular moistness and pungent odour. Unlike a normal fart, and other categories of cruel fart, the swamp fart is distinct in a number of important respects. It is formed by poorly-digested vegetable or fruit matter incubating in the colon for an extended time period. This results in an uncomfortable build-up of methane gas, which when combined with semi-liquid foodstuffs, produces a wet fart sound when omitted. This is often confused with a pudding fart due to its bass timbre. However, a swamp fart is so foul smelling that it causes an immediate gagging response from those nearby. Commonly, those responsible for swamp farts quickly vacate the environments contaminated by their own farticles both to avoid blame and to check their undergarments for undesirable debris, often referred to as fart sauce.
Kimi and Chaz are sitting in their local pizza restaurant.
Kimi: Was that you Chaz? God that stinks!
Chaz: (Sniggers) Sorry love, I just produced an impromptu swamp fart. Better out than though, I can tell you!
Kimi: You're disgusting Chaz! Shall we order now?
Chaz: No...I have to go to the bathroom. I think I might have fart sauce in my shorts...
Kimi: Was that you Chaz? God that stinks!
Chaz: (Sniggers) Sorry love, I just produced an impromptu swamp fart. Better out than though, I can tell you!
Kimi: You're disgusting Chaz! Shall we order now?
Chaz: No...I have to go to the bathroom. I think I might have fart sauce in my shorts...
by The Gonzo Lecture March 3, 2010
Get the Swamp Fartmug. A slang name used to generically describe the suburbs to the east of London, including Essex. The suffix "-ford" denotes that such towns tend to be situated on a river, often the Thames. Such suburbs including Ilford, Stratford, Romford, etc. can therefore be referred to generally without causing direct offense to their residents. The prefix "Bling" refers to the tendency of some of these residents to wear flashy, or gaudy jewellery, possibly implying that they are chavs.
Example 1:
Sociologist: As we can see from this picture, these two people are chavs, sitting in a McDonald's restaurant in Blingford. They are denoted by their tracksuits, gaudy jewellery and next tattoos.
Example 2:
"That's coz you's a tasteless, chavvy, Blingford mutherfucker, innit! Aight?"
Sociologist: As we can see from this picture, these two people are chavs, sitting in a McDonald's restaurant in Blingford. They are denoted by their tracksuits, gaudy jewellery and next tattoos.
Example 2:
"That's coz you's a tasteless, chavvy, Blingford mutherfucker, innit! Aight?"
by The Gonzo Lecture March 7, 2010
Get the Blingfordmug.