2 definitions by The Blistering Truth

Top Definition
An asshole in uniform.
The following joke illustrates the perfect example:

A woman was running late for work. She zooms along an overpass. Unbeknownst to her, a cop seeking to make his quota in order to be promoted to prime asshole is hiding behind a billboard at the end of the overpass; he measures her speed with a radar gun, takes off after her and pulls her over.

"Where's the fire?"
"What fire? I'm late to work."
"Is that so? What do you do?"
"I'm a rectum stretcher."
"How do you do that?"
"I work all my fingers in until I have both hands all the way inside, then I stretch out the rectum until it's a big asshole."
"And what, may I ask, do you do with a big asshole?"
"I put him behind a billboard on an overpass and give him a radar gun."
by The Blistering Truth December 12, 2006
A government-funded genetically defective perverted fuckstain with the intellect of stale dog shit. Cops act like tyrannical assholes in attempts to make up for sexual inadequacies/shortcomings/predilections/cofusion.
"I became a cop so I could carry a gun, because it's the closest thing to a hard-on I'll ever experience, because my dick looks like a limp cocktail weenie. I'm afraid of women making fun of what they call my 'extra belly button.' Hell, I gotta admit, Women never really did it for me anyway. But it's different when I'm watching kiddie porn. Then it becomes the hardest cocktail weenie you ever saw. I can't make up my mind whether I like boys more than girls."

---Exerpt taken from taken from a policeman during an interview. The piece of shit requested total anonymity for fear of losing his job, while being cornholed by his partner.
by The Blistering Truth June 09, 2005

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