There are several types of poo to be produced from your very deriere.
REACHER - This is when the faeces touches the toilet water before it leaves your ass hole. Therefore this poo is considered to be quite long, and strong not to break in the middle.
TRAIN SPOTTER - This is a poo of many varieties. To start off, a big sausage shape of poo comes out of your very hole, this is like a train. Then lots of droplets of poo are cascaded into the toilet water. This is considered to be the passengers. And noisy they are!
GHOSTER - This is when you do a massive poo, but when you go to wipe your very self, no poo seems to have deposited on the tissue. And when you pull your trousers up, and you have a peek at the bowl, there seems to be no excrement, or skids.
DRIBBLER - This is when the poo seems to dribble out of your backside. Like a muddy waterfall, cascading out of your hole. And this sounds like the rain with stones in.
PUSHER NUTTER - This is the most painful of all poos, this is when there is sweetcorn, and nuts deposited in your poo. And on its way out this proves hard to push without the sheer pain of the nuts scratching your tunnel.
NOISER - This is the most noisy of all poos. This normally occurs when you have what is called 'touching cloth' You really need a dump at this point. You sit on the loo, and you push. You are deafened by the sound of the poo pushing its way out and the farting on the way.
I hope this has proven useful and now you can keep a poo diary of what poos you have had.
Oh my god i did a PUSHER NUTTER poo last night it killed, it was so painful and i made a nut pie with the nuts :D