TANTI - (SHAUN WARD)'s definitions

Bearded Clam

Abundantly hairy front bum, dungeon, tomato barmcake.

Oh, the bearded

by TANTI - (SHAUN WARD) June 4, 2004

Flying Carpet

Akin to log watching under the glass coffee table, where the missus lays one out and you can watch the delivery without getting a face full of corn. The flying carpet is when she jumps over the coffee table naked, in the style of a Olympic hurdler and you get a snapshot of her hairy tomato barmcake

Peter was giddily chasing naked Marrion around the living room, when she expertly hurdled the living room coffee table, where Shaun was laying in wait, perfectly positioned for a snapshot of her beautiful puffed up fluffy flying carpet.

by TANTI - (SHAUN WARD) August 11, 2004

Curly Perm

A sudden and fast involuntary emission of wind, so high in pitch in fact, that the air crackles. A painful and unpleaseurable experiance that leaves all bung hole bumfluff tightly coiled like clock springs.

Oooooh, I think I've just given myself a "curly perm".

by TANTI - (SHAUN WARD) June 4, 2004

Wife Beater

Stella Artois

Feeling RAF this morning, i've took sixteen pints of wife beater on board last night

by TANTI - (SHAUN WARD) June 3, 2004

Queen Hair

Refers to the female "axe wound" and the hairs found there upon. If you look closely at the underside of the "roastbeef" you will discover that there is always one hair, struggling for supremacy that is longer than all others. This is "The Queen Hair". If some bitch hasn't properly mopped her dungeon or stamped her feet after a golden shower, the queen hair is particularly adept at retaining that one single solitary last drop of piss. This can then crystallise not unlike the copper sulphate crystals you used to grow at school. If for any reason the queen hair is dislodged or ends up in somebody’s teeth, never fear, there will always be another queen hair ready and waiting for crowning glory.

I was moppin up my bitchs' roastbeef last night and the fuckin queenhair got lodged in my throat. I coughed so hard, I nearly shit my heart.

by TANTI - (SHAUN WARD) June 21, 2004

Tomato Barmcake

Enlarged / well endowed female clitoral region

Look at the beetle bonnet on that, it's like a tomato barmcake gone wrong

by TANTI - (SHAUN WARD) June 3, 2004

Leopards Fanny Batter

Shock and bewilder your friends when dining out with this amusing and loveable chatchphrase.

Patron: Ooooh, I think I'll have the lamb henrys with a medley of fresh steamed vegatables for my main course, it sounds delicious and I'm just in the mood for a nice bit of lamb.
Matron: Oh yes, I've heard that is superb with a hint of corriander and a side order of leopards Fanny Batter sauce.

by TANTI - (SHAUN WARD) June 4, 2004