29 definitions by Squid Wrangler

The recipients of a long-deserved ass kicking from the Carolina Panthers last Sunday. 27-17. The NFL's so-called greatest quarterback was sacked twice and picked off by the league's best defense while their rushing game was held back to sub-40 yards. The sheer joy of seeing Tom Brady weeping like a little girl on the sidelines as the fourth quarter wound down was almost overwhelming.
Steve Smith, Stephen Davis, Ricky Proehl, Julius Peppers, Mike Rucker, Will Witherspoon, and Ken Lucas owned the Patriots.
by Squid Wrangler September 23, 2005
A wonderland/safehouse for frustrated Democrats needing to vent and surround themselves in similar company. Also a decent place to find thorough, if slanted, coverage of all the wacky goings-on in the world of neo-conservatism. Democratic Underground is significant in that it was one of the first organizations to really dig in and unearth the details regarding the Jeff Gannon controversy. Must-reads on Democratic Underground include the hilariously scathing Top 10 Conservative Idiots, Equal Time With Bob Boudelang, and The Crisis Papers. Their Hate Mail section is also of note because complete decay of your faith in humanity can be fun.
"Fuck you. You are all a bunch of anti-american cock-smokers. Stop spreading your bullshit anti-bush anti-republican propaganda. I can't believe you fucking assholes have nothing better to do that bash one of the greatest presidents in this nations history and try to raise up on your pathetic faggot ass shoulders this fucking pussy Kerry who fucking runs and cries when a splinter gets in his finger so he can get a fucking purple heart. What will happen if this piece of shit is put in charge of our country? He will turn this nation over to UN control, ask them what we should do (the UN hates American by the way fuck-tards) let them delegate how we should run our lives, he will severely weaken our policies on how we deal with terrorists, handing that over to the UN too, Bush has balls, he takes care of his own. FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU. I am hoping you write some aging hippie bullshit back for me to read and have a good laugh over. So remember... FUCK YOU!

DU RESPONDS: Steady on Dick. This isn't the floor of the Senate you know."

-Typical exchange in the Hate Mailbag section
by Squid Wrangler May 14, 2005
A member of the tremendous battalion of lame New Jersey post-hardcore/power pop/blargh/pseudo-genre bending radio-friendly over-produced bands that have recently broken into the American mainstream in an unexpected manner. One of the many bands who are worshipped by legions of former preps who now wear studded belts, Chuck Taylors, and check their Myspace account every six minutes. Fans of My Chemical Romance are usually in-between everything. They're too "refined" to like Linkin Park, Korn, and other ultra-mainstream angst-peddlers but too dense and flat to really do much more than haphazardly dabble in bands that are somewhat more challenging to get into, such as pre-"Dark Side of the Moon" Pink Floyd and Sonic Youth.

My Chemical Romance is mainly at home in combining the sad-sack tendencies of emo lyrics and the overbearing self-absorption found therein (yes I know they're not emo you fucking idiots, emo is a very specific style of music that for all practical purposes has been dead for a few years. But you're truly a moron if you don't think they at least borrow some elements of that genre) with the overdone theatrics of prog rock and metal while having absolutely none of the virtuosity associated with those genres. Makes use of the same limp musicianship that is present in every other generic "dynamic" or "emotional" (short for "not really good at anything") rock band currently making 16 year old girls with glasses and acne cream their pants across the country.

Speaking of their lyrics, this band is nothing special when compared to their peers while absolutely awful compared to somewhat decent bands. One of the "good songs" another person mentioned in another definition contains the following lyrics:
" And if they get me and the sun goes down into the ground
And if they get me take this spike to my heart and
And if they get me and the sun goes down
And if they get me take this spike and
You put the spike in my heart

And if the sun comes up will it tear the skin right off our bones
And then as razor sharp white teeth rip out our necks I saw you there
Someone call the doctor, someone get me to a church
Where they can pump this venom gaping hole
And you must keep your soul like a secret in your throat
And if they come and get me
You put the spike in my heart"

Good God. Nothing but lame, weak metaphors about hearts, souls, secrets, gaping holes in all three, and other asinine, pretentious bullshit that is showcased in most songs in this God-forsaken genre. Overblown, meandering pablum that doesn't really even mean anything.
People who like My Chemical Romance were probably listening to Linkin Park three years ago.
by Squid Wrangler May 10, 2005
Stylish destruction of public property.
One time, I broke into a skater's house and put wax all over his TV and furniture. He was really mad, even after i told him it would slide better now. Skate and create, man!
by Squid Wrangler March 24, 2005
Worst Show Ever. I hate the guy with the gap in his front teeth.
Do you like D-list celebrities and small-time comics who couldn't even sell out the dive bar down the street? Do you like unfunny quips made by people so far under the radar that nobody cares what they think anyway? Do you need a one-stop resource for any and all news about Paris Hilton's week? "Best Week Ever" just might be for you, idiot.
by Squid Wrangler May 03, 2005
Jewish comic who makes a living by screaming his head off about things that everyone already knows anyway. Lewis Black is occasionally very funny and thought-provoking in his approach but some of his jokes miss the mark and his angry persona wears off on a viewer over time. His piece on the Daily Show far outshines his stand-up specials because they're just long enough to be entertaining without being grating. Can best be thought of as a stand-up version of Maddox. A tad overrated in many of the same areas as the late Mitch Hedberg.
Although I prefer his segments on the Daily Show, Lewis Black's best stand-up effort in my opinion is "The End."
by Squid Wrangler April 12, 2005
Next stop on the Bush/Cheney war bus.
Want to see the future? Take any speech about foreign policy Bush made in late 2002/early 2003 and replace "Iraq" with "Iran".
by Squid Wrangler May 12, 2005

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