SomeBadJOKE's definitions
A metal head is someone who listens to metal. Any metal at all. Shut up with all this "only 80s thrash metal" bullshit, and all the "true and false metal" crap.
Both thrash and nu-metal can be good in their own ways. There's no such thing as a "false metal" band. If it's metal, it's metal. Period. Who cares what genre Slipknot is in? Who cares if Testament is from the 80s? They're both metal, so it's not wrong for a metalhead to like them. I personally like both of them, so just stop the stupid debate of which bands are true and which are not.
However, a metalhead may indeed despise such music as rap, pop, or pop punk, for either being mainstream, or full of shit. And most of it is. However, just because a band is mainstream does not specifically mean it sucks. So System of a Down appeared on MTV. Does that mean they're the worst thing to happen to music since 50 Cent? No! They're simply getting their music out to more people. If you really want to vent your anger out because a band is popular, go take it out on their stereotypical fans, for being such airheaded idiots and making the band look bad - not the band itself.
As for the dress code, there is no set one. Most metalheads, however, can be characterized by either shoulder-length or shaven hair, leather jackets, band t-shirts, and lots of studs and spikes in their accessories. There is also no set way to behave in order to be a metalhead. You don't have to do drugs, you don't have to drink, and you don't have to be the toughest S.O.B. in the world who can demolish 20 asses in a fight. You can be a very friendly sweet person who hates fighting and still be a metalhead.
Just be yourself, and listen to all the great metal you love. That, is what makes you a metalhead. Not taking drugs and ranting about true and false metal. That, is what you call an intentional conformist.
Both thrash and nu-metal can be good in their own ways. There's no such thing as a "false metal" band. If it's metal, it's metal. Period. Who cares what genre Slipknot is in? Who cares if Testament is from the 80s? They're both metal, so it's not wrong for a metalhead to like them. I personally like both of them, so just stop the stupid debate of which bands are true and which are not.
However, a metalhead may indeed despise such music as rap, pop, or pop punk, for either being mainstream, or full of shit. And most of it is. However, just because a band is mainstream does not specifically mean it sucks. So System of a Down appeared on MTV. Does that mean they're the worst thing to happen to music since 50 Cent? No! They're simply getting their music out to more people. If you really want to vent your anger out because a band is popular, go take it out on their stereotypical fans, for being such airheaded idiots and making the band look bad - not the band itself.
As for the dress code, there is no set one. Most metalheads, however, can be characterized by either shoulder-length or shaven hair, leather jackets, band t-shirts, and lots of studs and spikes in their accessories. There is also no set way to behave in order to be a metalhead. You don't have to do drugs, you don't have to drink, and you don't have to be the toughest S.O.B. in the world who can demolish 20 asses in a fight. You can be a very friendly sweet person who hates fighting and still be a metalhead.
Just be yourself, and listen to all the great metal you love. That, is what makes you a metalhead. Not taking drugs and ranting about true and false metal. That, is what you call an intentional conformist.
True metalhead: (wearing a Slipknot shirt) Man, I'm bored. Anyone got a metal CD I can listen to?
False metalhead: (stoned out of his mind) yo u stupid lozer, Slipnot sux dik. Why doncha lizzen to true metal liek Pantera and Testament, u fuckin poser! Get high an' drunk, jus' liek all of uz!
True metalhead: For your information, I like both of them, and I don't need to be a stoned fucktard to show it.
False metalhead: Whuh? U cal meh namez?? Gah! (falls to the floor, knocked out)
False metalhead: (stoned out of his mind) yo u stupid lozer, Slipnot sux dik. Why doncha lizzen to true metal liek Pantera and Testament, u fuckin poser! Get high an' drunk, jus' liek all of uz!
True metalhead: For your information, I like both of them, and I don't need to be a stoned fucktard to show it.
False metalhead: Whuh? U cal meh namez?? Gah! (falls to the floor, knocked out)
by SomeBadJoke October 28, 2006

There are definitions having to do with sex for the most unusual words or phrases, including "ice cream sandwich", "magician", "jack the ripper", and "airhead".
by SomeBadJoke July 4, 2006

If you were to ask an average teenage girl who listens to pop punk WHY she likes certain pop punk bands, the answer you'll most likely get is that she thinks the guys in the band are "hot."
Seriously. When was the last time you heard a girl say she liked Fall Out Boy without also saying that "Pete Wentz is liek omfg SOO HAWT!!1!"? It's the same with bands like Green Day, My Chemical Romance, or any others that are popular right now.
If the bands' fans would learn to appreciate them for their musical talent rather than their members' looks, then maybe there wouldn't be so many idiots making the band look like a bunch of terrible no-talent sellouts (or, in fact, actually MAKING them terrible no-talent sellouts).
Seriously. When was the last time you heard a girl say she liked Fall Out Boy without also saying that "Pete Wentz is liek omfg SOO HAWT!!1!"? It's the same with bands like Green Day, My Chemical Romance, or any others that are popular right now.
If the bands' fans would learn to appreciate them for their musical talent rather than their members' looks, then maybe there wouldn't be so many idiots making the band look like a bunch of terrible no-talent sellouts (or, in fact, actually MAKING them terrible no-talent sellouts).
Guy: So I see you like Fall Out Boy. May I ask why?
Pop Punk fangirl: OMFG becuz Pete Wentz is liek SOOOO HAWT!1! Hes in that band and liek hes totally SEXII!1!
Guy: ... Ok... and what about their music??
Pop Punk fangirl: Ohh yes!! Patrick Stump's voice is SOOOO WONDERFUL!!! Ahhh.. *swoons*
Guy: -_- wait here while I go get a heavy object...
Pop Punk fangirl: OMFG becuz Pete Wentz is liek SOOOO HAWT!1! Hes in that band and liek hes totally SEXII!1!
Guy: ... Ok... and what about their music??
Pop Punk fangirl: Ohh yes!! Patrick Stump's voice is SOOOO WONDERFUL!!! Ahhh.. *swoons*
Guy: -_- wait here while I go get a heavy object...
by SomeBadJoke November 1, 2006

by SomeBadJOKE March 17, 2007

A person who tries to fit in with the emo label just for attention or popularity (which doesn't make sense because emo people aren't supposed to be popular)
Anyway, here are some ways to spot an emo poser:
1. Act depressed 24/7, even when nothing is wrong in their lives
2. Cut themselves purposefully... and then show it to everyone
3. Must always adopt the complete emo look: dark dyed hair with sidebangs, very tight pants, an emo band t-shirt (like Hawthorne Heights) at least 3 items from Hot Topic, and of course, eyeliner
4. Has a rich family
5. Music lists ALWAYS include the following bands: My Chemical Romance, Hawthorne Heights, The Used, Simple Plan, Fall Out Boy, AFI, and more
6. Throws emo song lyrics around on their myspace/xanga/livejournal/etc., usually as their display name
7. On the above-mentioned sites, include pictures of themselves with the typical myspace angle (weird camera aim which barely allows for the viewer to see the person except for their hair, or at least one of their eyes)
8. Only talk to people who look just like themselves (and may get rejected if they see how much of a poser he/she is)
9. Are anorexic or have some other mental disorder, usually involving their self-image (because all emo posers think they're ugly)
10. Complain about their "hard lives" all the time
In short, emo posers are the reason that everyone hates emos. They're the ones who act like this, so people think that all emos do it too. In reality, true emo people act like themselves, and the only way that they are all alike is that they tend to have a primarily emotional personality. That's it. It has nothing to do with being depressed or mental disorders, or listening to all the same bands, unless you have a good reason for being depressed, did not force the mental disorder on yourself, or listen to the bands because you actually like them.
Though, in reality, I personally do not like most of the bands. They're not in my taste. I'm not gonna insult them though. Only the people who listen to them just because everyone else does, AKA the posers.
Anyway, here are some ways to spot an emo poser:
1. Act depressed 24/7, even when nothing is wrong in their lives
2. Cut themselves purposefully... and then show it to everyone
3. Must always adopt the complete emo look: dark dyed hair with sidebangs, very tight pants, an emo band t-shirt (like Hawthorne Heights) at least 3 items from Hot Topic, and of course, eyeliner
4. Has a rich family
5. Music lists ALWAYS include the following bands: My Chemical Romance, Hawthorne Heights, The Used, Simple Plan, Fall Out Boy, AFI, and more
6. Throws emo song lyrics around on their myspace/xanga/livejournal/etc., usually as their display name
7. On the above-mentioned sites, include pictures of themselves with the typical myspace angle (weird camera aim which barely allows for the viewer to see the person except for their hair, or at least one of their eyes)
8. Only talk to people who look just like themselves (and may get rejected if they see how much of a poser he/she is)
9. Are anorexic or have some other mental disorder, usually involving their self-image (because all emo posers think they're ugly)
10. Complain about their "hard lives" all the time
In short, emo posers are the reason that everyone hates emos. They're the ones who act like this, so people think that all emos do it too. In reality, true emo people act like themselves, and the only way that they are all alike is that they tend to have a primarily emotional personality. That's it. It has nothing to do with being depressed or mental disorders, or listening to all the same bands, unless you have a good reason for being depressed, did not force the mental disorder on yourself, or listen to the bands because you actually like them.
Though, in reality, I personally do not like most of the bands. They're not in my taste. I'm not gonna insult them though. Only the people who listen to them just because everyone else does, AKA the posers.
Emo poser: omg I'm SOOO depressed, becuz liek look at my ristz their soo bloody huh?!1
Emo: What the hell? You obviously did that on purpose.
Emo poser: Nono no wai I did not! I liek totally got sad and My Cemikul Romanze is mah fave band EVUR!! All mah otha frendz lizzen to them!
Emo: ... Ok, you know what? How about you just keep cutting? It'll be the solution to not only your problem but to ours too. Our reputation will finally be saved!
Emo poser: Oo yea! Good idea! Now Im gunna go take my super-expensiv nife and cut mah ristz while lizzenin to Hawforn Haytz!
Emo: Yea. Hurry up. You need to bleed more. Or, how about you let ME do it for you?
Emo: What the hell? You obviously did that on purpose.
Emo poser: Nono no wai I did not! I liek totally got sad and My Cemikul Romanze is mah fave band EVUR!! All mah otha frendz lizzen to them!
Emo: ... Ok, you know what? How about you just keep cutting? It'll be the solution to not only your problem but to ours too. Our reputation will finally be saved!
Emo poser: Oo yea! Good idea! Now Im gunna go take my super-expensiv nife and cut mah ristz while lizzenin to Hawforn Haytz!
Emo: Yea. Hurry up. You need to bleed more. Or, how about you let ME do it for you?
by SomeBadJoke November 7, 2006

A new subgenre of metal which includes bands such as Korn, Slipknot, Disturbed, and various others from the late 80's to today.
Is often bashed and heavily criticized by "true metal fans" for being "mainstream", or for having "no talent"
These guys are just introducing a new metal sound, guys. Get over it. Many people like it, and that's why it became mainstream. I might not like some of the bands, but I don't call them "fake" because of that. They're just as much metal as Metallica or Slayer are, and just because they sound different doesn't mean they suck. It sure would be boring if all bands sounded the same, don't you think?
I like all kinds of metal - power, thrash, progressive, and even nu. Here are some examples: I like Slipknot but I don't like Slayer. I like Children of Bodom but I don't like Korn.
It's still that metal I know and love, so I listen to it. If I don't like a band, I just don't listen to it. I don't come here and call them fake. If I wanted to complain, I'd at least give good reasons for my complaint.
Is often bashed and heavily criticized by "true metal fans" for being "mainstream", or for having "no talent"
These guys are just introducing a new metal sound, guys. Get over it. Many people like it, and that's why it became mainstream. I might not like some of the bands, but I don't call them "fake" because of that. They're just as much metal as Metallica or Slayer are, and just because they sound different doesn't mean they suck. It sure would be boring if all bands sounded the same, don't you think?
I like all kinds of metal - power, thrash, progressive, and even nu. Here are some examples: I like Slipknot but I don't like Slayer. I like Children of Bodom but I don't like Korn.
It's still that metal I know and love, so I listen to it. If I don't like a band, I just don't listen to it. I don't come here and call them fake. If I wanted to complain, I'd at least give good reasons for my complaint.
Idiot: omg liek nu metal sukks its soo fake lol omg lizzen to real metyl liek Metallica or Slayer lol roflz
Non-Idiot: Dude, just because it's a different genre doesn't mean it's fake. Just appreciate it or shut up about it.
Non-Idiot: Dude, just because it's a different genre doesn't mean it's fake. Just appreciate it or shut up about it.
by SomeBadJoke August 10, 2006

The Hitler of metal.
These guys seem to want to rule the metal world with an iron fist, dictating what all metal should be like, look like, and sound like. Not allowing any free thinking at all. No, everything HAS to sound the same. If it's black metal, it's false. If it's modern, it's false. This is exactly what their mindset is. They seem to forget that music is an ART form, and as such, the artists can do whatever the fuck they want with it. But no - instead they act all Hitler-ish and say that their metal is "true", and nothing else is.
Yet, these guys make an absolutely horrible impression of what "true metal" should be. Most of their songs just use the same riff and chord patterns, the same recycled lyrics, and the only talent present in the whole band is in the guitarist WHEN he does the solos. Eric Adams can't sing worth crap, and the drummer - please. "Drums of Doom??" What kind of idiot came up with that? Just because you can bang on your drums really hard doesn't make you talented. Get that through your head.
It's ok to sing about metal. It really is. I'd love songs like that. But these guys take it too far. They have to say that there's "true metal" and "false metal." They have to say that only SOME metal is acceptable and most of it isn't. Why not just accept all metal for what it is - the best music in the world? Why not just appreciate all of it? And most of all, why do you even take out your anger on the SAME genre of music as the one you like??
What is worse, however, is that they've even gained a following of "Manowar nazis," better known as metal elitists. These people go around calling others who don't listen to the "loudest band in the world" posers, ranting up a storm about how any band that plays exceptionally louder, heavier, or growls their vocals is "fake", and that the only acceptable bands are ones that sprung up before the 1990s. The sad part, however, is that the only bands they could name most of the time are Metallica, Slayer, Iron Maiden, Judas Priest, Ozzy Osbourne, Black Sabbath, and of course, Manowar. People like this make the entire metalhead community look like a bunch of idiots, fighting among themselves over stupid things such as what bands they listen to.
Who cares about Slipknot? Who cares about System of a Down? They're not my favorite bands ever, but I don't go around yelling at people if they want to listen to them. It's their choice, and it's the music they like. You CAN'T change their musical taste, and you CAN'T change their opinion. AND, your opinion is NOT supierior to theirs. Shut up.
Manowar nazis don't want to look past the 80s for their music, which means they miss out on much better power metal bands than Manowar, such as Blind Guardian, Kamelot, Angra, Rhapsody of Fire, etc. These bands have much more talent than Manowar, and can play songs that don't use the same chords over and over, or the same lyrics, or the same cheap sound effects. They don't have to talk about "steel", "the kingdom", or "fighting" in every single song to be good.
I wanted to like Manowar. I really did. But as long as they hold this Nazist belief of metal, I never will.
These guys seem to want to rule the metal world with an iron fist, dictating what all metal should be like, look like, and sound like. Not allowing any free thinking at all. No, everything HAS to sound the same. If it's black metal, it's false. If it's modern, it's false. This is exactly what their mindset is. They seem to forget that music is an ART form, and as such, the artists can do whatever the fuck they want with it. But no - instead they act all Hitler-ish and say that their metal is "true", and nothing else is.
Yet, these guys make an absolutely horrible impression of what "true metal" should be. Most of their songs just use the same riff and chord patterns, the same recycled lyrics, and the only talent present in the whole band is in the guitarist WHEN he does the solos. Eric Adams can't sing worth crap, and the drummer - please. "Drums of Doom??" What kind of idiot came up with that? Just because you can bang on your drums really hard doesn't make you talented. Get that through your head.
It's ok to sing about metal. It really is. I'd love songs like that. But these guys take it too far. They have to say that there's "true metal" and "false metal." They have to say that only SOME metal is acceptable and most of it isn't. Why not just accept all metal for what it is - the best music in the world? Why not just appreciate all of it? And most of all, why do you even take out your anger on the SAME genre of music as the one you like??
What is worse, however, is that they've even gained a following of "Manowar nazis," better known as metal elitists. These people go around calling others who don't listen to the "loudest band in the world" posers, ranting up a storm about how any band that plays exceptionally louder, heavier, or growls their vocals is "fake", and that the only acceptable bands are ones that sprung up before the 1990s. The sad part, however, is that the only bands they could name most of the time are Metallica, Slayer, Iron Maiden, Judas Priest, Ozzy Osbourne, Black Sabbath, and of course, Manowar. People like this make the entire metalhead community look like a bunch of idiots, fighting among themselves over stupid things such as what bands they listen to.
Who cares about Slipknot? Who cares about System of a Down? They're not my favorite bands ever, but I don't go around yelling at people if they want to listen to them. It's their choice, and it's the music they like. You CAN'T change their musical taste, and you CAN'T change their opinion. AND, your opinion is NOT supierior to theirs. Shut up.
Manowar nazis don't want to look past the 80s for their music, which means they miss out on much better power metal bands than Manowar, such as Blind Guardian, Kamelot, Angra, Rhapsody of Fire, etc. These bands have much more talent than Manowar, and can play songs that don't use the same chords over and over, or the same lyrics, or the same cheap sound effects. They don't have to talk about "steel", "the kingdom", or "fighting" in every single song to be good.
I wanted to like Manowar. I really did. But as long as they hold this Nazist belief of metal, I never will.
Typical Manowar lyrics:
"Ohhh!! Fight! For the kingdom!!! I have steel!! Steel in the kingdom!! And I fight! Fight! Fight! Fight with steel! Fight in the kingdom! Fight in the kingdom that has steel!!"
"Warriors!! True metal!! True metal warriors that are true!! Bloody blood of true metal on my hand! It's so true metal! Let's go, true metal dudes! True metal!! YEAAAAA!!!"
"Ohhh!! Fight! For the kingdom!!! I have steel!! Steel in the kingdom!! And I fight! Fight! Fight! Fight with steel! Fight in the kingdom! Fight in the kingdom that has steel!!"
"Warriors!! True metal!! True metal warriors that are true!! Bloody blood of true metal on my hand! It's so true metal! Let's go, true metal dudes! True metal!! YEAAAAA!!!"
by SomeBadJOKE March 2, 2007
