A popular term that has cropped up in the North-East of England after a scitzophrenic teacher named thus reduced a class to hysterics in a lesson and continued to amuse them with her antics throughout the year. This teacher has a cult following in an irregular sense - she is not worshipped so much as slandered. The class secretly take the mick out of her every single lesson without her knowing
"A Burton" is somebody who acts much like this teacher. This is usually someone who suffers from terminal PMS (Prehistoric Monster Syndrom)
To "pull a Burton"(1) is to act like her, ie: acting kind and caring one second and then evolving over a period of 55 minutes into a raging monster, this transformation can occur slowly or quickly, and may also ebb and flow. Facial expressions resembling a pig or a form of small chimp usually accompny this metamorphisis.
To "pull a Burton"(2) is to get-off, snog, make-out, or have sexual intercourse with a Burton.
To "pull a burton"(3) is to literally pull a Burton. A rope is attached to the leg (or other appendage) of a Burton and she is dragged for several miles through a field.
To "slap a Burton" is to make an acceptable quip/comeback about a Burton when she is speaking or teaching a class. To successfully slap a Burton more than one person must laugh at your quip/joke/comeback and she must not hear. Each quip is worth 10 points in "Burton Slap" (see below)and an extra 50 points is gained if she questions you worryingly about the laughter. (The look of paranoia on her face is unmissable)
"Burton Slap" is a game in which each table or group of individuals secretly take the mick out of the Burton in the room. The table/team with the highest points at the end of the 55 minute period wins. Bonus points are given for reducing the Burton to a nervous wreck on the floor.
How to spot a Burton:
Burtons are usually short. Very short. In fact they're really just large, scitzophrenic dwarves.
A Burton's eyes will glow red when challenged
Burtons laugh occasionally for no reason. Maybe the voices tell them jokes.
One or more Burtons in a single place or travelling together is called a "Circus".
"Oh she's such a Burton!"
"Hey, I pulled a Burton last night!"
*whispers* "She's about to pull a Burton"
"Let's play Burton Slap!"
"Look over there, there's a Circus of Burtons. It's like the deleted scenes from Dawn of the Dead"
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