Jeebus Crust is the Crust of Crustianity and the reason we celebrate Crustmas. He is the son of Gosh and part of the Holy 3-Some (or Ménage à Trois). Jeebus was born to Bloody Mary, a virgin, by a miracle of the Spirit of Truthiness. The Holy Babble gives an account of an angel visiting Bloody Mary to tell her that she was chosen to bare the Son of Gosh. Jeebus is known as the first Ninja. He is also the first to demonstrate the Ninja stealth ability of turning into a bunny.
Following the teachings of Jeebus Crust has changed my life. Crustianity Heaven is far better than any other afterlife.
Crustmas is the winter celebration of Crustianity. It is a week long holiday that begins with the Pine Sacrifice, includes days of baking Crustmas goodies and wrapping gifts, and climaxes with Presents Day on December 25th, the birthday of Jeebus Crust. A popular theme during Crustmas is to poke fun at all religious beliefs.
During Crustmas, we cut down a pine tree, buy each other gifts and make fun of other religions, especially Christianity. South Park and Family Guy are shows that our family enjoys watching on Crustmas.