1 definition by Sadistic Sarcasm

Top Definition
You have to get over the "sparkles in sunlight means not a real vampire" obsession and look past the lameocity of the story line. Really the vampire thing is just for a climax.
Teenage girl's who want to save themselves for marriage need to get off too.

It doesn't matter how cliche it ends up being on the teenage romance junky story line, there's a few crucial less failure points. Oh doesn't it make the teenage virgins go wild. Why are your panties getting wet? You've got orgasm.

Almost completely not cliche themes:
1. The average love-struck teenager novel ends up being the "I love you, I'd do anything for you, I will even refrain from cheating on you" reaction: want to vomit up ravioli. Twilight puts a twist to the average teenage romance "I love you, I'd do anything for you, I will even refrain from peircing you with my teeth and sucking your blood till there is only a suringe full left then I will shoot it up and stay high off you till my eye's turn black again. Reaction: triggers minor acid reflex, still tastes better than ravioli vomit.
2. Other teenage love-triangle novels use terms such as "I'm going to shoot your boyfriend in the head to earn your love. Friggen Loser I'll beat him. Let's have babies."
Twilight's Twist: "I'm going to rip off your boyfriend's head with my teeth and continue to mouth rape his stone flesh until he is in a few major pieces then insert them into the bon-fire as my tribe tells stories of our ancestor's doing the same to the other bastards of his clan. All to earn your love. Friggen Lice I'll treat him. Let's have puppies."

3. When the average girl wants to lose her virginity to her first boyfriend little preparation involved shaved legs, new allegedly sexy scent here and there then she lays down on the bed and finally lets him in between her legs "I just stole my sister's birth control *wink wink*" all he has to say is "Are you sure? I don't want to take advantage of you. You're positive? Okay."
Twilight Version: When a Twilighted girl wants to lose her virginity to her first boyfriend she has to be coniving and convincing to seduce him. Maybe a little papercut here or a bloody popped zit there. "I just started my period wanna taste *wink wink*?" But all he's ever interested in is souls. "I've killed people so if I want to have any chance of getting into Heaven I need to save myself until marriage."

These non-failure, hardly cliche at all themes and many more can be found in 700 out of 3,000 pages of the Twilight Saga.
by Sadistic Sarcasm May 14, 2010

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