1 definition by STFU Whiners

Top Definition
A very good computer company. Unlike what most people say, HP constantly provides what you paided for. Now HP cry babies will come along and yell about how their top of the line system sucks because it ain't so top of the line anymore. Blame the company because you can't spend $50 a month to keep it up-to-date.

Further more, Computer Illiterate people will come along and claim that the machine is making strange noises, or that it is too slow. Guess what... it is called a damn virus you idiots. Spyware Aware and probally half of your porn collection is wormed. Heck, torrent downloads have a 5:1 chance of containing trojans and you probally STILL don't have Alcohol 120%.

The Majority of hardware issues are caused because of your stupidity throwing the laptop accross the room will not make it work better. Also to be noted is that only geeks should be allowed to touch computer hardware... macho men don't have a big enough brain to do more then rip out the wires and smash their graphics card like a monkey.

All in all, HP is both cheaper then dell in all 'real' fields. Sure dell can sell you a do-nothing computer, but HP will sell you a system that works, and is actually worth buying.

Why post this? Because half of you are too ignorant to know how to turn your computer on... let alone take it to the store to get fixed.
Idiot: "Hewlett Packard sucks"
Smart: "Go do the world a favor and shoot yourself."
Idiot: "How?"
Smart: "Here, I'll do it for you"

Idiot: "My hp computer sucks... lets go buy an alienware computer... it looks cooler"

Idiot: "Hey, Hewlett Packard Support... YOU SUCK, MY COMPUTER IS BROKEN AND IT IS ALL YOUR FAULT"
Support: "Did you run a virus scan?"
Idiot: "Uhh"
Support: "How about put in that 'recovery cd' that came with your computer"
Idiot: "Uhh"
Support: "Or do you even have your computer insured?"
Idiot: "Uhh"
Support: "Have a nice day"

Idiot: "Dude, HP sucks, it can't run Black"
Smart: "And how old is your computer"
Idiot: "Eight years... but it runs Doom 1 SOO GOOD"
by STFU Whiners May 07, 2006

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