1 definition by Ryan aka Fritz

Top Definition
a state of squishiness

Many find fat to be repulsive and unattractive, and even the horniest school boy will find he can't get it up in the presence of too many fat particles (approximately the size of 3.14159262 alpha particles with creme fillings). Fat is easily put on and hard to get off, but unless you have a genetic illness (which some people do have), that's not an excuse. Just look at the rest of the damn world.

Fat is also the reason why so many American's are depressed and get an MAOI prescription at age 12. The 99% of Americans who aren't gorgeous think they have to be like the 1% who are or else they aren't any good. They get depressed, eat, and get fatter and dig their grave deeper and deeper, thus creating a fatter America. The first party then proceeds to watch TV only to get up to masturbate to the first party, thus creating an even fatter America.

It's also a very serious matter to be fun to someone smuggling excessive amounts of squishiness under their skin (also known as a fatass). Being caught in the act of potentially damaging a fatass's self esteem and/or inner child will result in being sent to hell and being locked in a room with Goliath and all his well-hung brothers (if you're a woman, you will instead be eternally tortured by an eternal menstrual cramp)
12 year old: Omg! My 12-year-old boyfriend just broke up with me. He says its because his parents don't want him to date yet, but I know he thinks I'm too fat. I weigh 117 pounds. According to Cosmo, a girl my height is only acceptable at 110 pounds. cry cry sob sob

Mother: (as she tosses back an antidepressant cocktail topped with a garnish of painkillers) Please don't cry honey cakes. Mommy will take you to the doctor and make everything all better.

One week later

12 year old: I'm still depressed. Instead of healthy dieting and exercise, I know that I must now resort to any or all of the following: steeling my mother's prescription pills, anorexia/bulimia, and self mutilation.
by Ryan aka Fritz April 16, 2007
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