23 definitions by Real Gangsta in da House

"RRRAWWWWWRRRRGGGGGG!KILL!RAAAWWWWRRRRGGGG"
Scream that above line 85 times in a gruntish voice while smacking your fists randomly against the desk. Congratulations. You have now heard every Death Metal song in existence. If you are a filthy, self loathing goths who doesn't wear sports gear, only then will you 'pretend' to like this attempt at poetry. Even the so called 'fans' don't like this. They only pretend they do so they can be different but all goths are the same, they all wear makeup (Even the men which means they must be beaten up for not being heterosexual like god intended!)

Slipknot, Korn and Marilyn Manson are three of the heaviest Death Metal bands. I heard them once and my ears nearly exploded. The noise in the background are created by 'guitars' and 'drums'. There isn't a single DJ mixing a beat or any lyrics about banging ya ho. It's all "DIE, DIE DIE, I HATE MYSELF! I am goth, grrr, I worship Satan and hate God even though he created me just like my parents who I also hate." You don't hear Eminem whining like that do you?

Rock and Metal are a wasteland of yobs pulling strings on wooden blocks and bashing trashcans in a vain attempt to create art. Anyone can become a vulgar rockstar. Chingy is too good for instruments and instead used his beautiful flow to tell a story from the streets. Chingy doesn't scream because he isn't angry even though he lived on the streets and those rich, white lads just didn't get their $500 allowance one week because they crashed their dad's BMW.

My friend is an idiot, he thinks bands exist outside of MTV yet MTV plays all the music variety in the world so I know he is a liar and I hit him for being a goth. I hate goths. All goth music sucks and anyone that listens to it must die! I'll stick with Nelly, 50 cent and Bauhaus instead of your screaming, self loathing, hatefilled, racist, homophobic, faggot, goth crap.

Considered a type of music however unlike music it doesn't involve computer generated beats and even more shockingly, no lyrics.

Classical music has no emotion behind it. True lyricists like 50 cent speak from the heart. Classical doesn't have any lyrics so you don't know what they were thinking when they wrote that filth.

The majority of listeners are old people so you know it sucks, old people are too old to know and appreciate real music.

Most Classical msuic was made before 1995 which means it is old. Classical losers should stop living in the past and get with the times. It's 2005 at the time of typing!

Everybody knows that Mozart only got famous when he started beefing with the Beethoven man. During their sets, they would get semi-naked girls to dance on stage and perform sexually suggestive acts upone each other.

Anyone can make classical music.
1: Think of some random notes (Not even beats!)
2: Repeat step 1 six times
3: Invite 25 of ya gang around
4: Give them a violin or trombone or something else (NOT a turntable to be seen!)
5: Give each person a different sheet with random notes
6: Record the result
7: Get some director who is old to play it during their movie.

8 Mile is the best movie ever made and that ended with 'Lose Yourself'. No Classical in that. Only REAL music.

The reason classical is only played during movies nowadays is because:
1: If they played rap, people would focus more on the wicked beats than the plot.
2: All directors are older than 30 because they lived when dinosaurs ate people but unfortunely they lived.
3: Rap artists like 50 cent have too much dignity to let their art be given to shitty films like 'Civtizen Cane'

Classical only used to be popular because it was 'cool' at the time and true music like rap wasn't invented yet.

Classical is boring. When is the last time you saw classical music on MTV or at no.1 in the charts? I rest my case.