2 definitions by Read On

Top Definition
Easily one of the best medical mystery writers ever. Stephen King-- yes, THE Stephen King-- said, "Tess Gerritsen is an automatic must-read in my house; what Anne Rice is to vampires, Gerritsen is to the tale of medical suspense. She is better than than Palmer, better than Cook... yes, even better than Crichton. If you've never read Gerritsen, figure in the price of electricity when you buy your first novel by her... 'cause baby, you are going to be up all night."

Tess Gerritsen kicks butt.
Guy 1: "Dude, did you read the Tess Gerritsen book I gave you yet?"

Guy 2: "Yes. I peed myself and stayed up until 3 A.M"
by Read On June 23, 2011
The worst book ever written. It is basically the story of a freaky, socially-awkward chick named Bella who moves into a small town in the middle of Washington. While there, she meets an equally socially-awkward sparkly dude named Edward. Oh, and Edward is a parasite. A vampire, by any other name. Unfortunately, Edward doesn't kill her, or drink her blood, or sacrifice her to the Vampire community. Why he didn't do that is beyond me. But, their passion for each other exceeds all odds, and they fall deeply in love.

While all of these hormones are exploding, another love interest gets thrown into the mix; Jacob. Jacob's a wolf kid who is obsessed with Bella.

Whoo. A love triangle. THAT hasn't been done 3,000 times.

But Bella, being a clingy, crazy, moronic stalker insists on being with Edward, and almost kills his entire family, because everyone wants to drink Bella's blood, or whatever.

You know what? I can't even finish my frickin' definition on this subject, because it sickens me so.

But do you know what isn't sickening?

Good literature.

Read J.K.Rowling. Now. Get your Twilight-infected brains away from this site.
Girl 1: "Oh my god! I like totally LOVE Edward's hunky sparkly magic! Twilight is like, the Bible! He's a god! PRAISE HIM AND HIS SHINY BODY!"

Girl 2: "NO WAY! Team Jacob, every day!"

*Girls 1 and 2 get into a fight about who is better, and Girl 3 is feeling homicidal by now*

Girl 3: "Screw this, I'm going to go watch Harry Potter."
by Read On July 09, 2011

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