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1 definition by R.N. Theory

 
1.
Master Sword is the most insanely badass sword in the Universe, forged and wielded by the Father of Conan, the Barbarian. The first three minutes of the seminal film, "Conan the Barbarian," highlight the actual forging of this phallic masterpiece. This very same sword was used by the Snake Lord (James Earl Jones, aka Darth Vader), to decapitate the Master's wife, aka Conan's Mother. This event began Conan's quest to conquer and destroy all who opposed him throughout the known Universe.

In this Age of Miracles, any man may attempt to wield the power of the Master Sword. Google "Albion Conan Master Sword" if you dare attempt to heft the real deal, fully sharpened.

No other sword, other than perhaps the Atlantean Sword (which Conan himself yields) can compare (including Excalibur, bitches!).
Conan's father: "For no one - no one in this world can you trust. Not men, not women, not beasts. This, you can trust."
Points to Master Sword

Master: "Conan, what is best in life?"

Conan: "To crush your enemies, to have them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of the women."

Master: "This is Good."

Conan (later, about to face battle, swearing on his Atlantean Sword): "Crom, I have never prayed to you before. I have no tongue for it. No one, not even you, will remember if we were good men or bad. Why we fought, or why we died. All that matters is that two stood against many. That's what's important! Valor pleases you, Crom... so grant me one request. Grant me revenge! And if you do not listen, then to HELL with you!"

by R.N. Theory March 15, 2008
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