6 definitions by Professor Al

Top Definition
Pointless, futile, fruitless; An exercise in futility; exerting useless effort; a contemporary update of "pissing in the wind."

i.e, standing in front of a microwave oven, screaming "Hurry up!!"

Etymology: the October 2009 declaration of CDC Director Thomas Frieden, regarding the slow growth and rollout of H1N1 vaccines which are incubated in eggs: "Even if you yell at the vaccine strains, they don't grow faster."
The Board of Directors has already made up its mind. You can go in there if you want to present your side, but I'm telling you, you'll just be 'yelling at the eggs' if you do.
by Professor Al October 26, 2009
Comedically or unnaturally larger than large.

A hybrid of "gargantuan", "humongous" and "fabulous", to create a term implying a size greater than all three.

Original usage is credited to author Alan Peterson in "Radio World" newspaper in the early 1990s, describing hand tools used to repair and maintain a century-old carousel in Holyoke, Mass. (see example of usage below)
(excerpt from article) "...trying to fix a telephone using a garmongulous screwdriver meant for the carousel upstairs..."

(other use) "He wasn't just fat... he wasn't just 'circus fat'... this guy was garmongulous!"
by Professor Al September 21, 2009
"Eleven o'Clock", typically pronounced by a street person or wino; The normal time they are awakened by the local constabulary.

Similar terms include "Foe Clog" (4 o'clock), "Sebmuh Clog" (7 o'clock) and "Ay Clog" (8 o'clock).

Pronunciations are not necessarily exclusive to race (ie, Ebonics), as many street people end up speaking this way from the consequences of bad dental habits.
Cop - "C'mon fella, wake up and get the hell off that bench. Dont'cha know what time it is?"

Street dude - "Sho' do, officer. It's lebmuh clog."
by Professor Al August 02, 2009
Malapropism of "flabbergasted": dumbfounded, amazed, stunned with surprise.

SECONDARY DEFINITION: a lazy and ineffective flagman at a highway construction site.

ORIGIN (all true): Early 20th century, Marie Natale Martini of Queens NY, an Italian immigrant who exclaimed she was "flaggerbastard" upon seeing the Statue of Liberty for the first time. For sixty years, no one corrected her; it was just too funny.
See "origin" of flaggerbastard listed above.
by Professor Al July 07, 2009
Somewhat dismissive term for an American male who is an anachronistic throwback to the 1950s; not a teen rock-n-roll enthusiast of the era, but the parent of a Boomer.

Typically conservative WWII vet, tangentially racist ("those goddam xxxx are taking over this country, I swear"), heavy drinker, generally a member of a bowling league and of the Elks, VFW, KofC or Moose from the 1950s through the '70s. Probably still keeps bowling trophies from that era on a china closet in the dining room.

Sadly, a dying breed in American culture.
Original reference credited to Ren & Stimpy animator John Kricsfalusi, referring to his character "George Liquor" as "a real Lodge Brother from the 50s." In more familiar terms, think Flintstones or Ralph Kramden.
by Professor Al August 14, 2009
Expression coined by WRC-TV (Washington DC) meteorologist Tom Keirien to describe a sunrise so impeccably perfect that words are inadequate; the only tribute to do it justice would be to freeze-frame and fly the image into a computer to use as desktop artwork.

Use of the term "screensaver" might be considered inaccurate were the image to be used for the Desktop or as Wallpaper instead of as a screensaver. But in context the usage is acceptable, as everyone gets it.
Newshosts - What's the weather like, Tom?

Tom - Take a look at our City Camera at this screensaver sunrise.
by Professor Al September 21, 2009

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