A dork who also enjoys sports. Usually is of such lower intelligence that he plays Guitar Hero and Rockband all day long if he gets the chance, and fakes being sick just so he can have a World of Warcraft day. Watches football re-runs on the NFL Network all day and drinks Mountain Dew Code Red and eats Cheetos.
John faked being sick so he could do nothing but play Rockband, Guitar Hero, and World of Warcraft plus watch re-runs of the Steelers cheating during Super Bowl XL. Plus he ate nothing but Cheetos and drank nothing but Mountain Dew Code Red. Therefore he is sportymcdorkdork (and a good one at that).