Died on the cross for my sins so that I may be forgiven and gain the free gift of eternal life.
Billy: Mike, you *bleepin'* *bleep*, haven't seen you in 10 *bleepin'* years! How you been?
Mike: Well Billy, I'm actually a Christian now... and a pastor at that!
Billy: Well I'll be damned!
Mike: You don't have to Billy, Jesus can save you!