2 definitions by Mr Rodent

Top Definition
A New Town in Shropshire England.
Unemployed: 180,000, all of which are alcoholic or on drugs of some kind.
Employed: 20,000, most of which work for Social Services or the Job Centre.
Adult mentality is that of the average cocker spaniel, have little aspirations in life apart from which house is next on their "rob list".
Knifepoint muggings at cashpoints and gang war is rife. There's also an unusually high population of rapists and underage sex traffickers.
Pubs are filled with Football louts snorting coke off the tables and start riots outside clubs so large that it warrants the nearby Military Base to control the situation.
North Telford called Wellington is packed with Goths, most go to TCAT College but tend to just cut themselves while hiding in the toilets. Not many students finish their Government paid college term either.
Town Centre closes at 5pm. Yes, the “centre” of the town is inaccessible after 5pm, apart from Sundays, when it closes even earlier.
Jobs in the area range from factory line worker to factory floor-sweeper but with the 3 industrial estates in the area left abandoned, all that's left really is Agency work who often only find factory line worker jobs that last for around 3 days then it's back on Job Seekers again, usually the Agency jobs found are out in Coventry.
Telford does have the world famous Iron Bridge, nice for a daytrip... but after dark it becomes an area that reminds you of the Will Smith film “I Am Legend”.
Welcome to Telford, where the streets are paved with dog shit.
by Mr Rodent May 09, 2013
Nyarf... pronounced "Nee-arf"... an annoying little shit who just won't leave you alone, even if you reach your wits end and punch them in the thigh.

Ranging from poking you in the ribs whenever you're looking away, to dipping their cock in your pint when you're at the toilet then telling you after you've taken a few sips.

Some children can be Nyarfs too... usually a spoiled Niece or Nephew, or a friend's kid, who refuses to take the hint that you really don't want to sit and watch them fail their "epic stunt" on the fucking trampoline.
Nyarf: Watch watch, this is awesome... watch watch!
You: I'm busy! Go bother your Mum.
Nyarf: Watch watch, this is awesome... watch watch!
You: I'll watch later!
Nyarf: Watch watch, this is awesome... watch watch!
You: Christ. You're such a Nyarf.
Nyarf: But look, just look! Hey, are you watching? Watch!
You: *Sigh* fuh-fuck's sake
by Mr Rodent August 03, 2013

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