Forget Jesus. If God took the form of a mortal man, that man would be Stifler, and the American Pie series would be his Bible.
He is THE man. A symbol of pure masculinity in today's modern sea of girly boys. He speaks his mind, and utters such profound and prophetic statements as "Eat shit, shit-brick". He is desired by women and men (of a certain sexual orientation) everywhere, due to his rugged good looks, and manly charm.
Through his ridiculing of those with a low level of social skills, he is single-handedly responsible for all human evolution and cultural development.
He is the the best example of what Freidrich Nietzsche would consider to be the "Overman", he is the peak of human development, the elite of the species, the great creator. He is what all mankind aspires to become.
He is Stifler.
Matt: Shit dude, I wish I was more like Stifler.
Den: Keep workin' at it homeboy, you'll get there one day.