"South City Hoosier" - These are hoosiers that have all the hoosier trademarks and live south of Highway 44. Almost all of the men work in the automotive field. The women usually are the ones buying Basic cigarettes and scratch-off tickets at a South Grand gas station on Wednesday mornings while thier 7 and 9 year old kids are listening to Eminem in the Astro van.
"South County Hoosier" - These hoosiers aren't always poor rednecks. In fact, most of them own homes and have decent jobs. Look for fishing boats in the driveways, Christmas lights in May and stockpiles of Busch Light beer. Many of the men are hunters and/or fishermen and all have buddies that can fix your car. The women usually have part-time jobs, and slightly newer vans. Many south county hoosiers grew up as south city hoosiers.
"Jefferson County Hoosier" - These hoosiers are a wily bunch. Most drive pickup trucks and have boots that are heavily stained and torn to shreds. They usually start sentences with "hey man..." and all of thier stories are about thier brother-in-law. They too hunt, but can't afford to have thier deer stuffed and mounted like most South County Hoosiers. Almost all of these hoosiers are extremely conservative, and very few work in St. Louis. The women generally wear clothes from 1993 and rock 80's style femullets and bangs. Most smoke menthol cigarettes but will buy the non-menthol brands for thier 14 year old sons named Levi.
"St. Charles Hoosiers" - St.Chares hoosiers are rare sightings. They look normal, and drive nice trucks but almost always live in a home that contains wheels. They have money for stuff like Imo's pizza and Bud Light beer, but only on Saturday's or during Rams's games. They often don't even know that they are in fact hoosiers because they live in St. Charles, howvever the burger king bags on they're floorboards and Z107.7 stickers on their cars are a dead giveaway.
South City - "We went to Ted Drewe's last night"
"Oh yeah, how was that?"
"It was alright, but a total hoosier-fest!"
South County - "I was pulling out of my street and my freakin' hoosier neighbors' dog ran right in front of my car!"
Jefferson County - "Hey man do you have a copy of AC/DC's Back in Black at your place? My damn brother-in-law borrowed mine like three weeks ago, and I aint seen it since!"
St. Charles - "I met some girl at Harrah's but the minute she started talking about how she filed a restraining order against her ex, I knew I was dealing with a full-fledged hoosier!"