MagickDio's definitions
Comes from the way pissed up folk say "best friend." To be a "bessfriend" for any length of time is incredibly unfortunate. You attain this dreaded status by having a drunken person latch onto you and tell you all their problems, cry on your shoulder and generally kill your groove. Several times, through hiccups and sobs about ex partners, you will hear the words "You're like my bessfriend, you are." Note- you don't even have to really KNOW this person to be their bessfriend for the night.
The worst bessfriend situations occur when they are members of the opposite sex. You either get cock blocked or pussy locked all night by the weepy eyed, wretched looking individual clinging desperately to your wrist.
The worst bessfriend situations occur when they are members of the opposite sex. You either get cock blocked or pussy locked all night by the weepy eyed, wretched looking individual clinging desperately to your wrist.
"Why didn't you come to the club last night? We all wondered where you got to. Did you go home?"
"No such luck. Some mental bitch in Yates's decided to make me her "bessfriend" for the night, and I just could NOT shake her!"
"No such luck. Some mental bitch in Yates's decided to make me her "bessfriend" for the night, and I just could NOT shake her!"
by MagickDio April 24, 2010
Get the Bessfriendmug. Spar-GER; the cheap, bitter, drain-cleaning-fluid-like substance contained within generic white cans and sold as lager at your local Spar. Essentially, it is carbonated tramp piss.
"I've only got £2 to get collins'ed on. Looks like I'd better buy a 12 pack of Sparger"
"He said it was Corona, but it literally took the skin from the inside of my mouth. I'm sure it was Sparger"
"He said it was Corona, but it literally took the skin from the inside of my mouth. I'm sure it was Sparger"
by MagickDio February 4, 2010
Get the Spargermug. 1) A list of people you want to shag
2)A list of sexual acts, each of which has a number of "points" attached to it. This is usually a list drawn up with a group of mates, and a competition ensues to see who can get the highest score. It's not usually a list of delightful acts to blissfully orgasm your way through, it's designed to be more of a test of endurance. For example, rimming someone over 2 and a half times your age would gain you 200 points, whereas performing full oral servicing on someone 2 and a half times your weight would net you 1000. There's usually a trophy act which involves all holes and someone smokin' hot but it's infinitely easier to nail the god awful stuff.
2)A list of sexual acts, each of which has a number of "points" attached to it. This is usually a list drawn up with a group of mates, and a competition ensues to see who can get the highest score. It's not usually a list of delightful acts to blissfully orgasm your way through, it's designed to be more of a test of endurance. For example, rimming someone over 2 and a half times your age would gain you 200 points, whereas performing full oral servicing on someone 2 and a half times your weight would net you 1000. There's usually a trophy act which involves all holes and someone smokin' hot but it's infinitely easier to nail the god awful stuff.
1) I just added Michael to my hit list, he's delicious.
2)K~ "Ok, I rimmed the 56 year old bloke. Chalk up my 200"
D~ "I made that weird kid cum in his trousers at the bar, which is 100, and tossed that footballer off under the table , which is another 150, so that's 250 for me!"
T~"Well, I gave that 30 stone woman full oral servicing, so I need 1000 points and some kind of super strength mouthwash"
2)K~ "Ok, I rimmed the 56 year old bloke. Chalk up my 200"
D~ "I made that weird kid cum in his trousers at the bar, which is 100, and tossed that footballer off under the table , which is another 150, so that's 250 for me!"
T~"Well, I gave that 30 stone woman full oral servicing, so I need 1000 points and some kind of super strength mouthwash"
by MagickDio April 27, 2010
Get the Hit Listmug. A lot of scary looking people have what is known as "Gun Face." It's when you feel confident in saying that a person owns a gun and has brandished it or has a gun on their person purely from the appearance of their face. Their expression is unsettling- a mix of insanity,glee and contemplation, as if they're wondering if they've got enough old carpet left to roll their next victim up in.
Vin Diesel (if that IS his real name) has Gun Face.
Vin Diesel (if that IS his real name) has Gun Face.
I don't want to go to the post office. The guy behind the counter has Gun Face, and is probably going to snap any day now!
by MagickDio January 9, 2011
Get the Gun Facemug. 1) Girls who indulge in girl on girl action when surrounded by girls only. Despite being hetero, they get their jollies the gay way, rather than have no action at all. Common in students at all girls boarding schools.
2) A girl who announces she's gay when being chatted up by a bloke she finds repellent.
3) The heterosexual emo females, who believe that gayness=coolness and therefore have all been gay/are currently gay/will be gay very soon but will embrace their genuine sexuality when that is in fashion.
2) A girl who announces she's gay when being chatted up by a bloke she finds repellent.
3) The heterosexual emo females, who believe that gayness=coolness and therefore have all been gay/are currently gay/will be gay very soon but will embrace their genuine sexuality when that is in fashion.
1) I first had sex when I was seventeen, if you don't count the two years in which I attended Roedean and was a convenient lesbian.
2) Phil decided to go home after being shot down by the fifth convenient lesbian of the night.
3) Those emo girls aren't actually gay, you know. They're just convenient lesbians. Next week they'll be into pre-op transexuals to coincide with the latest reality tv show.
2) Phil decided to go home after being shot down by the fifth convenient lesbian of the night.
3) Those emo girls aren't actually gay, you know. They're just convenient lesbians. Next week they'll be into pre-op transexuals to coincide with the latest reality tv show.
by MagickDio November 7, 2012
Get the Convenient Lesbianmug. An old people's home. So named because they go in all healthy and plump, and come out all dried and shrivelled, in a box.
"Mum and Dad sent Nana off to the raisin factory. It's called a Retirement Village. It's where you retire from having a life"
by MagickDio March 14, 2010
Get the Raisin Factorymug. Occasional Cunt Disorder. Most commonly affecting men, and most likely to strike when they've been drinking and their good for nothing sports team have lost. Symptoms include sneering at lifelong friends, ignoring the person who is speaking to you, laughing humourlessly at someone who is just trying to be nice and picking one person to humiliate. The cure is usually to sulk moodily in a corner for a while, but the drastic measure of a slap to the face is sometimes administered.
"Sorry about last night Baz. Didn't mean to tell your mum that story about you being caught wanking by a busload of nuns. A bit of OCD I think."
"Leave him alone to sulk, miserable bastard. It's a good job it's only OCD, or I'd kick his head in"
"Leave him alone to sulk, miserable bastard. It's a good job it's only OCD, or I'd kick his head in"
by MagickDio March 2, 2010
Get the OCDmug.