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7 definitions by MISS PEEG

How the special among us spell faeces/feces.
Bob: "Oh darn it, I got feesees all up the wall again."
Robert: "You scruffy fuck, you splattered the ceiling too."
Bob: "Oopsies."
by MISS PEEG February 13, 2009
14 4
1. The non-metal, typically plastic, utensils which are shoddily manipulated by the crippled fingers of a spastic.

2. A portmanteau of spastic and plastic used to describe a tard who is wearing various piping or 'life support' machinery about their malformed body, including but not limited to an IV drip, feeding tube and oxygen pipe.
1. Please do not give proper-people cutlery to the drooling gentleman in the wheelchair. He is only to use splastic as he is likely to cause injury given that he has limited motor skills.

2. "Jesus tap dancing Christ, would you look at that splastic! Flip the switch, man, we need more tubing for our megabong."
by MISS PEEG February 13, 2009
8 0
Portmanteau of fellatio + fail.
A failed attempt to suck your own tallywhacker.
The cunt-starved gentleman was so desperate for a blowjob that he decided to commit fellatio upon himself. But he couldn't.
"Argh, failatio!"
by MISS PEEG February 13, 2009
10 4
The language spoken by self-important idiots.
Similar to talking shit, but much more annoying.
Agatha: "Betty was talking out of her arse again today."
Agnes: "Fuck, that bitch is FLUENT in analese."
Agatha: "Let's pat her."
Agnes: "Right-o, I'll get the laxatives."
by MISS PEEG February 13, 2009
11 6
To be talentless is to endure a relationship with a sexually unattractive person, where talent refers to the fitness of your partner, and not your ability to pull a fox.
You may also be single, and therefore completely talentless.
Captain Scarlet: "Your lass is rough as fuck."
A Mysteron: "Argh, I am talentless."

by MISS PEEG February 13, 2009
14 15
To baptise, or to perform a baptism, is to rub one's milk-laden breasts across a gentleman's/lady's head and/or face, expressing an indiscriminate amount of boob juice on to the subject's forehead.
Although I'm 8 months pregnant I still managed to baptise several gentlemen and one lucky lady last night. Alas, my jugs will soon be empty.
by MISS PEEG February 13, 2009
9 10
To 'pat' someone is to throw one's excrement, especially faeces, at them.
Ladies may also choose to throw used menstrual regalia instead of faecal matter.
One may commit the ultimate pat by furnishing one's bowel with the necessary materials before positioning oneself directly above the head of a friend, relative or perhaps passing person, thence one proceeds to pat them right on the head.
Katy was constantly banging on about her wide-set vagina, which finally pushed Alex to the point of patting her with sloppy twos.

Alex had been a dick to Katy so she pat him. She pat him good.

Katy's menses had stained Alex's favourite shirt after the pat attack, therefore he fucking killed her dead. Bitch.
by MISS PEEG February 11, 2009
14 24