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4 definitions by Longshanks Blumpelstiltskin

 
1.
The misfortune of pulling out during anal sex to be followed by a "coal car" (a.k.a. fecal overflow). To complete the maneuver, one must ejaculate on the bloody fecal matter, the aftermath resembling a train wreck.
My roommate Karl ruined my sheets after he pulled a Montreal train wreck on that skeezer. (Based on true events.)
by Longshanks Blumpelstiltskin May 27, 2006
 
2.
An extreme power blumpkin utilizing the chemical reaction of Mentos and Diet Coke.

Ingredients: Mentos, 1 liter bottle of Diet Coke, enema bag, surgical glove, KY jelly, a willing female participant

Step 1: Use a Mentos as a suppository (surgical glove and
KY jelly optional)
Step 2: Proceed to fill your enema bag with Diet Coke
Step 3: Gentlemen, start your blumpkins!!!
Step 4: As climax approaches, insert enema wand and squeeze
bag converting blumpkin to power blumpkin.
Step 5: Take cover. (Due to immediate chemical reactions
that will ensue.)
Step 6: The enema bag having mixed with the Mentos should
fly out of your sphincter and jettison around the
bathroom like a cyclone spewing a geyser of soda
and fecal matter.
"Nicole's parents disowned her after they found that their house had been hit by the dreaded Coney Island cyclone."

(Her boyfriend had Taco Bell for lunch earlier that day.)
by Longshanks Blumpelstiltskin November 03, 2006
 
3.
This most hideous of maneuvers involves an extremely intoxicated woman ready to vomit and a "concerned male friend" in an isolated stall. He sets up the scenario by innocently offering to hold back her hair while she proceeds to vomit. However, unbeknownst to the woman, he is undoing his pants with his other hand. After the bulk of the vomit is expelled, the ensuing dry heaves create the ultimate contractions for deepthroating. The sounds made as a result of heavy penetration mimicking someone who is being strangled. He finishes, cleans her up, and hopefully, she blacks out shortly and forgets everything. The concerned friend leaves that bathroom stall a legend amongst his friends.
Ted: I think Jimmy gave that drunk girl an Albequerqe strangler! She looks like she's been through the mill.

Harry: No wonder he's always so helpful.

Ted: I bet his balls smell like old schmagma.
by Longshanks Blumpelstiltskin June 11, 2006
 
4.
a variation of a blumpkin where a girl performs fellatio on a guy taking a dump, then inserts an enema during climax.
the warm soda in that enema really peps me up...nothing like a power blumpkin to start your day.
by Longshanks Blumpelstiltskin November 06, 2006