33 definitions by Long Johns
When someone has gone all out to look slutty in them heels, but they are attractively drawn for their head. Fallen head over heels on the first date.
Debbie was dressed up to the nines in her skimpy red dress and stilettos hoping to attract a mate.
Bobby: you look lovely, but I have fallen head over heels instead.
Debbie: you prefer my mind than body?
Bobby: I always like to get inside someones mind first, before getting inside their body!
Debbie: Mines a double VaT.
Bobby: See? Intelligent you are.
Bobby: you look lovely, but I have fallen head over heels instead.
Debbie: you prefer my mind than body?
Bobby: I always like to get inside someones mind first, before getting inside their body!
Debbie: Mines a double VaT.
Bobby: See? Intelligent you are.
by Long Johns July 4, 2017
to date another masterbater, wanker, solo player, jack off. To find that other one who likes to grab their own balls/fanny and give a good toss.
Do you ever get that wanting feeling to date another masterbater. Defined as MasterDate...it may be solo but you are not alone.
by Long Johns July 6, 2011
The inform some one of the truth, to let them know in honesty, have any one be told what they wish to hear.
After Sandra and Dave gave birth to a baby boy, Dave started to doubt his new born child. One night while Sandra was out playing bingo with the girlies, leaving Dave to take care for his new toddler. Sitting in his high chair being fed his supper, Dave asks, 'now son, come on spill the beans. Who is really your father?' And the beans went all over his face.
by Long Johns September 4, 2015
To accompany the saying 'Tiffs, Taffs and Tantrums'.
Tiffs - arguements, quarrels, lovers tiffs.
Taffs - those usual things.
Tantrums - tears, upsets, unloved.
Tiffs - arguements, quarrels, lovers tiffs.
Taffs - those usual things.
Tantrums - tears, upsets, unloved.
by Long Johns August 3, 2011
Towards the cold nights, those who hold back from lighting up that fire place - in todays society flicking on the central heating - a group of frighteners will knock on peoples doors. Come from the energy supply, back then was the woodsman who chopped the wooden logs for everyone, to scare people into making use of that paid service.
Jack, the woodsman, spent all his hard working weeks chopping down trees for people to burn on their fires. Only some like to hold on till the very last moment, when matters are important enough to waste more than they can use. Only Jack knows that people like this prevents him earning that extra more for this time of year. So on the night for Halloween, using their given jack-o-lanterns, sends out a group of scarey looking scoundrals to put the frighteners on the village folk to burn. It still happens today in some cases, with todays way for doing things, the dark nights are even more so terrorising.
by Long Johns October 24, 2014
Back in the days when the law was truly an ass, a witness was strong enough to cast judgement on any poor soul they wish to pass blame. Sometimes it took knocking on peoples doors to ask 'can I get a witness', and where the idea for Jehovah Witnesses come from for knocking on peoples doors and throwing the book at them. Taking desperate measures to either clear someones name or to pass blame on to another. Can also be used for those quick marriages some like to have that same day when only set eyes on someone.
Woman: "I'm desperate, please help me to save my son....please, I beg of you."
Stranger: "ok, I see what I can do."
Woman: "thank you, thank you, praise the lord."
Stranger: "Can I get a witness?"
Random Passer-by: "Sure, I'll say he was with me all the time."
Stranger: "ok, I see what I can do."
Woman: "thank you, thank you, praise the lord."
Stranger: "Can I get a witness?"
Random Passer-by: "Sure, I'll say he was with me all the time."
by Long Johns August 24, 2013
A bitch slap is a subtle yet harsh way to make sure they get the point across well and truly. Particularly for those annoying bitches whom just do not get the hint, and keep on and on at you until provoked to 'bitch slap' them, like a wake up call.
Bitch: wanna go out with me....wanna go out with me....wanna go out with me..
Victim: No, you're alright.
Bitch: go out with me, or else.....go out with me, or else....go out with me, or else.
Victim: I said no, thanks.
Bitch: I'm gonna stalk you while you sleep......hear me....stalk you...
Victim: 'bitch slap' now do you get it?
Bitch: I'm going to get you for this, yeah I get it.
Victim: what have I got to do to make the hint sink into her thick skull?
Victim: No, you're alright.
Bitch: go out with me, or else.....go out with me, or else....go out with me, or else.
Victim: I said no, thanks.
Bitch: I'm gonna stalk you while you sleep......hear me....stalk you...
Victim: 'bitch slap' now do you get it?
Bitch: I'm going to get you for this, yeah I get it.
Victim: what have I got to do to make the hint sink into her thick skull?
by Long Johns November 27, 2013