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Jonzo the Weasel's definitions

Pretzel

A deadly threat to the nation. It was sent by unknown parties to assasinate George W. Bush. The attempt was nearly successful, but a bystander was cunning enough to employ the heimlich maneuvre, foiling the conspiracy. The said pretzel is now being held in maximum security in guantanamo bay as an enemy combatant.
It appears that agent pretzel has failed his mission.
by jonzo the weasel July 17, 2006
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MTV VMA

Where bad music rules >95% of the evening, where red carpet shows offer celebrities the opportunity to show off some of the most ridiculous clothing ever to be worn, allows celebrities to make some of the most boring speeches you will ever hear, and where axl rose and new guns n' roses, to the horror of GNR fans everywhere, butchered Welcome to the Jungle, proving that sometimes, you really should quit while you're ahead.
Nick-Did you see Guns n' Roses at the MTV VMA?
Steve- Unfortunatley, yes.
by jonzo the weasel September 12, 2006
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swift boat veterans for truth

A group of fucking liars who dragged John Kerry's name through the dirt on two false accusations:

1: "John Kerry never did anything heroic in Vietnam"
Acatually, John Kerry jumped off his swiftboat during a firefight to rescue a crew member who had falled overboard. And why don't you tell me about W's heroism while AWOL from the Texas Air National Guard?

2: "John Kerry betrayed his country"
Oh yeah? Let me tell you this. Out of concern for the troops being killed in Vietnam, John Kerry joined Vietnam Vets Against the War. John Kerry saw his country making a mistake and said so. That is patriotism. The "my country right or wrong" attitude is ignorance on par with medeival peasants.
Swift Boat Veterans for Truth sent out it's slanderous ads without the authorization of Bush? Bullshit.
by Jonzo the Weasel August 15, 2006
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