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Jamie Douglas's definitions

comic gem

1. An occurance of high hilarity. This may be a phrase, action, put down or accident.

2. A precious stone carved into an amusing shape, like a phallus.
Richie: "Chris you douchebag - I'd try and make fun of you only I don't want to compete with nature!"
Tom: "Ha! That's a comic gem!"

"Look at this funny looking diamond in the shape of a plump rump - it's a comic gem!"
by Jamie Douglas November 23, 2006
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rubbish head

The most offensive insult in the world.

Especially if you are four.

It should be the insult of choice for the parents of small children, so as to protect their delicate ears.
"That winger missed a sitter, what a rubbish head"
by Jamie Douglas September 6, 2006
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mighty fine

adj. A good way to describe quiche.

It is also good to describe other pleasurable things this way.
A: 'How's the quiche?'
B: 'That's mighty fine quiche'

Tom had had himself such a mighty fine bit of pie he eagerly awaited second helpings.
by Jamie Douglas November 16, 2006
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Peter Crouch

Without doubt, the finest footballer taller than eight feet in the universe. With an uncanny knack for unravelling his telescopic legs Peter Crouch was able to dominate world football for a generation, winning the FA Cup in 2006, the English League in 2008, the world cup in 2010 and becoming president of the Galaxy a short time later. Peter Crouch is a hero of our time.
Let's gan down t'kop and cheer Peter Crouch
by Jamie Douglas August 26, 2006
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beer farts

Beer farts are the product of drinking too much beer, especially but not exclusively bitter.

They are incredibly smelly and frequent, and make your bum itch.

Beer farts are the worst thing to develop on a date, unless you feel comfortable blaming noxious odours on your partner.
John: "Bloody hell Jim, after those bitters last night I've been farting all morning!"
Jim: "Me too - the beer farts are coming thick and fast!"

What's that smell? Beer farts.

Man: "It's so good of you to agree to go out with me."
{Cue uncontrollable beer farts}
Woman: "Was that you?"
Man: "No you smelly ogre, it was you!"
by Jamie Douglas January 20, 2007
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manners

Something that costs nothing, but most of the population seem to have an aversion to.

Good manners are a gateway to success. Bad manners are a gateway to a good hiding.
Look at that girl with her cooch on the dinner table, she has the most awful manners!

Good manners include offering your seat to a pregnant woman on the bus.
by Jamie Douglas December 14, 2006
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man breakfast

The ultimate male culinary delight.

The man breakfast (TM) must contain all of the following.

Bacon
Sausage
Egg
Mushroom
Black Pudding
Hash Browns
Beans
Tomato
Toast/Fried Bread

Extra such as ketchup, brown sauce, salt and pepper are essential.

The man breakfast is the only way to defeat a hangover, which is God's way of telling you that you had a good night.
Hey! You left the mushrooms off this man breakfast!

Oi! There's chips on my man breakfast - take it away!
by Jamie Douglas December 19, 2006
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