Jacques Asse's definitions

Crime President

The Crime President is PreZ Blackass, Barack Jewbama Joebama Obamama.

He is basically a titanic Jew with hair glued all over his face.

Blackass is the world's first Crime President, elected by honest, law-abiding Murkans, to lie them to sleep every night with colossal lies about Sugarcandy Mountain, the great future paradise behind the clouds.

Blackass grins when he tells this lie.

by Jacques Asse January 19, 2010

sluthood

A condition of being Pam Anderson.

Mikah was enjoying her sluthood the other day, sucking her own boobs and finger fucking herself in the ass.

by Jacques Asse April 21, 2009

aztecs

Aztecs are small food items, rather like tamales, made of maize and maize husks and gourmet butt cheese.

Sometimes at parties, you can throw Aztecs and they can be a little like darts or beanbags.

We had some Aztecs the other night. We got the butt cheese from Dan. It was da flava

by Jacques Asse February 2, 2010

Perranporth

Perranporth: a deranged dullard without intellect.

Perranporth is a waste of oxygen.

by Jacques Asse June 26, 2009

Shartacus

Shartacus was a famous Sicilian slave who gained notoriety for his uncanny skill at sharting.

Shartacus sharted in the shark tank.

by Jacques Asse April 23, 2009

Claire

Claire is the most beautiful thing we've ever seen.

Claire is like a fresh spring rain after hot sex.

Claire is the Grammar Goddess.

Claire sits unelected atop her avian perch.

by Jacques Asse May 27, 2009

Jewsting

Jewsting = jew-fisting. The process of fisting Jewish American princesses.

Since JAPs have the tightest assholes (now you know where they make diamonds) in the world, sometimes it's a good idea to buy a bunch of butter and Astroglide and to go Jewsting. Nothing quite like it. You can even wave the smaller ones around in the air with your fist up their ass.

by Jacques Asse June 10, 2009