Jacques Asse's definitions

slanger

A slanger is a cominbined noun, slut + banger, referring to one who bangs sluts, like Lou Ferigno.

Lou is a slanger, and has many sluts.

by Jacques Asse April 7, 2009

backdoor berries

Backdoor berries are jams and various jellies used as anal lube for buttfucking.

Meredith found--much to her surprise--that she liked backdoor berries.

by Jacques Asse October 16, 2009

enemisting

Enemisting is enemy duckfisting your nemeses. You should use the largest possible duck you can find, and shove the fucker so far up their ass that you can see the duck's head in the enemy's mouth. You should always do this to Eminem.

Enemisting Eminem was a grand feat. But it smelled horribly.

by Jacques Asse June 4, 2009

nutbuster plus

A nutbuster plus is a fat chick who likes it on top, and gets into it so much that she generates additional inertia and momentum and completely flattens your balls.

Psarah, who weighs about 563.4 pounds when dry, is an absolute nutbuster plus.

by Jacques Asse April 23, 2009

The Joys of Midwife Beating

Before you join our little club, you cannot beat midwives with impunity.

If we allow you to join and induct you, you will be granted your Totin Chip, whereby you may beat midwives with impunity. Reducing their faces to rubble and hamburger.

It's a guy thing.

The Joys of Midwife Beating make the world a sunny place!

by Jacques Asse December 28, 2009

crabassing

Crabassing is when a woman just absolutely will not STFU.

Crabassing can be used in court to explain many homicides.

When Jacques got home his wife was crabassing him already, before he even shut the fucking DOOR!

by Jacques Asse June 17, 2009

donkeyhotey

Donkeyhotey is the name of a really weird guy that is old and rides a horse.

Last time we went to 7-11, Donkeyhotey was sitting on his wreck of a horse, drinking Colt .45 and raving about earmites or something.

by Jacques Asse June 12, 2009