1 definition by Jacob/Bella Shipper
Cool people pronounce this word as: Edward Coo-yen
That fucking boring douchebag from the Twilight series who makes annoying little teenie-bopper girls wet their drawers. Sometimes smart people who read the books get so angry about the lack of chemistry he has with Bella that they just want to forget the books were ever written. It is astounding that people can be so blinded by his "beauty" that they do not realize that he is unbelievably BORING and OVER-CONTROLLING. He is also cheesy and rediculous. Everything he says reeks of snobby arrogance and lies. Finally, he is constantly having to ask Bella what she is thinking and then Bella always says the same thing (something along the lines of "Waaaaah! When are you going to change me into a vampire!?!?" or "Waaaaah! When are we going to have teh secks!?!?") to which Edward always makes the same reply. In short, they never have anything to say to eachother.
By the way, the real reason they are not having sex is NOT because Edward is afraid he will hurt her, it's because he can't get it up! You can't get an erection if you don't have any blood in your system! And don't come up with bullshit replies to this known truth, I don't care that it's the whole "willing suspension of debelief thing" because I'm not willing to suspend my belief!
That fucking boring douchebag from the Twilight series who makes annoying little teenie-bopper girls wet their drawers. Sometimes smart people who read the books get so angry about the lack of chemistry he has with Bella that they just want to forget the books were ever written. It is astounding that people can be so blinded by his "beauty" that they do not realize that he is unbelievably BORING and OVER-CONTROLLING. He is also cheesy and rediculous. Everything he says reeks of snobby arrogance and lies. Finally, he is constantly having to ask Bella what she is thinking and then Bella always says the same thing (something along the lines of "Waaaaah! When are you going to change me into a vampire!?!?" or "Waaaaah! When are we going to have teh secks!?!?") to which Edward always makes the same reply. In short, they never have anything to say to eachother.
By the way, the real reason they are not having sex is NOT because Edward is afraid he will hurt her, it's because he can't get it up! You can't get an erection if you don't have any blood in your system! And don't come up with bullshit replies to this known truth, I don't care that it's the whole "willing suspension of debelief thing" because I'm not willing to suspend my belief!
Edward Cullen: "Hey Bella, let's have the same conversation over and over and over again and see how long it takes these lonely 13-year-olds to realize that we are completely boring together and have absolutely no chemistry to speak of."
Bella: "Okay! It is so much fun to value a boy solely for his looks and his ability to come up with bullshit declarations of love. Also, I love the way you control my every move and never let me think for myself. Finally, I can't wait until you change me into an undead, bloodless, inhuman monster and our relationship falls apart completely."
Edward: "WWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEE!"
by Jacob/Bella Shipper January 24, 2008