1 definition by Geoff Magnum
Descendant of Spanish aristocrats from centuries past, the human Cioban is synonymous with fraud, everything and anything pseudo, and fiction. The ultimate poseur and plebeian, the Cioban will move from subject to subject, professing its own superiority through a concocted personality marked by an insufferable concentration on fine art, literature and music. This is, of course, a desperate ploy for attention, and the Cioban should neither be trusted nor acknowledged in his or her deeds. If one should encounter the Cioban in person, there are several methods to combat such a foe that will, at first, appear formidable. Do not be taken in by this guise, as the Cioban is, in reality, quite easy to defeat:
-Yell, with gusto, "IIII LOOOOVE YOUUUU JEEESSUUUUS CAH-RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSTTTT"
-Say bluntly, "My taste is superior to yours in every way possible; deal with it." before donning a pair of black sunglasses and exiting the scene before the Cioban can retort
-Craft several made-up band names, such as "Ironing Board Escapades" or "Cat Fur Lines Our Hearts In Helvetica" or "Hipsterdom is a Way of Life", confessing your love of these bands to the Cioban. After he has said he has heard of them, which he will, reveal that the band you mentioned does not exist, walking away afterward.
There are many other methods, but these are the most common and the most effective for dealing with domesticated or wild Ciobans.
-Yell, with gusto, "IIII LOOOOVE YOUUUU JEEESSUUUUS CAH-RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSTTTT"
-Say bluntly, "My taste is superior to yours in every way possible; deal with it." before donning a pair of black sunglasses and exiting the scene before the Cioban can retort
-Craft several made-up band names, such as "Ironing Board Escapades" or "Cat Fur Lines Our Hearts In Helvetica" or "Hipsterdom is a Way of Life", confessing your love of these bands to the Cioban. After he has said he has heard of them, which he will, reveal that the band you mentioned does not exist, walking away afterward.
There are many other methods, but these are the most common and the most effective for dealing with domesticated or wild Ciobans.
Christ, did you hear that Cioban just now? Phonies, phonies everywhere.
Look at THAT fucking Cioban.
Look at THAT fucking Cioban.
by Geoff Magnum November 10, 2010