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3 definitions by Freshmouse

 
1.
a desirable but often elusive bathroom phenomenon wherein a log of feces is expelled from the anus in one solid piece, typically characteristic of a healthy diet lacking any recent form of heavy alcohol consumption.
-where you been the last hour? did ya fall in?
-it was awful. my steel wool ass bush grated my feeble muddy poo to shreds, leaving half the turd backed up. wiping was a total nightmare; it was like i was smearing engine grease all over my ass with wax paper. i only stopped when i started bleeding. i would kill for just one clean break this month!
by Freshmouse June 08, 2006
76 31
 
2.
Short for hand job; derivative of the more desirable "beej," which is short for blow job. Often used self-mockingly in the wake of not receiving more desirable forms of sexual contact.
-dude did you get a beej last night?
-no but i got a real sweet heej, i had to pretend that i passed out before permanent dammage was done.
by freshmouse April 07, 2006
24 9
 
3.
The act of emitting flatulance into another person's shower, usually as a surprise act followed by a rapid escape.
My girl was taking forever to get ready for dinner, so I snuck up to the shower, dropped my pants, pulled back the curtain, stuck my ass in and gave her a chicken biscuit, then got the hell out of there.
by Freshmouse November 21, 2008
0 3