How to turn urself into a chav:
1. Ditch all normal and perfectly acceptable clothes, and wear some shabby tracksuit. Oh dear, u noticed that the trousers are too small, ah well tuck 'em in ur bright yellow socks n no1 will notice.............yea rite.
2. Grab urself a baseball cap and any old chains that look sparkly....
3. Now, shove your hands in ur v. tredy tracksuit pockets and learn the chav walk- sweep each shoulder down, forwards and then upwards making an arch and drag your body along with your shoulders.
4. Now, light a cigarette and suck ur life away on it (some how thinking this is the coolest thing to do).
5. The most important thing to to learn to speak propa. this cannot be taught, like most accents im afraid you'll actually have to hang around with the miserable creatures and hope to just pick it up.
6. Finally you just hang around bus stops, Mc Donalds, Sports shops and pretend u have money to buy stuff from those shops. Walk in the middle of roads (how cum they neva actually get run ova? :( ) and just be pushed to the very fringes of respectable society and take the tremendous leap to the category- scum.
Now, my (once) friend. You have become a complete chav. You are now harder and more tough than anybody i will eva know and i give u all rites to completely ruin the lives of others. Most importantly remember....if somebody looks at u it means they're thinking of killing u, try and think of a clever remark, but don't worry it dosen't ACTUALLY have to be cleva because for you that would be impossible.....
see a chav, kill a chav.......it's a living.
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