2 definitions by Dr. Thrax

Top Definition
H1
The Hummer H1, made by General Motors-owned Hummer, is a civilian version of the AM General HMMWV (Humvee). It was released in the 1990's and became popular due to its look and amazing off-road capabilities. Being based on a military vehicle, it was very tough and strong. It was originally called Hummer until Hummer made the Hummer H2, then it became the H1.

In 2005, Hummer made the H1 Alpha, which gives the H1 a better engine and interior. The Alpha upgrade will soon be on all Hummer vehicles.

Sadly, most people that own Hummer H1s do not use them for their purpose: off-roading. Most use them for transport like SUVs such as the Ford Expedition. This is frivolous, as the Hummer H1 costs 120,000 USD because it excels in off-roading, not in space. For this purpose, one should buy the Hummer H2, Ford Expedition, Chevrolet Suburban, or Honda Odyssey Touring, or even the BMW 760Li.
He was doing some serious off-roading in his Hummer H1, totally destroying that punk in the Explorer.

That woman I talked to was hot, but dumb because she bought an H1 to go to and from work.
by Dr. Thrax May 17, 2005

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H2
An SUV developed by the General Motors owned Hummer. Despite what people say, the car is not driven exclusively by men with small penis syndrome (sps) or soccer moms, but that doesn't mean that SPS victims and soccer moms don't drive them. Some people use them legit, such as long trips across the country with the family and all your shit, or off-roading, though the latter is rather rare.

The H2 has also been popularized by the hip-hop world which regularly rapes SUVs and trucks by lowering them, adding useless 24 inch chrome rims, and "pimping" them with nasty vinyls. Hopefully that won't stop you from buying an H2 should you need it (off-roading or long trips where you need cargo and the family. No, soccer games that are 20 minutes away DO NOT count.).
I was driving my 530i when I saw two Hummer H2s. One had the off-road kit and had some guys and some camping-looking gear in the trunk, the other had a mom, four kids, and a bunch of soccer gear. I was lucky to follow the mom and saw that she only drove for about 10 minutes saying "I needed it".
by Dr. Thrax May 17, 2005

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