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1 definition by Dr. Eldritch

 
1.
Ardent basement-dwelling keyboard warriors who are possessed of a sport's fan mentality, and frequent the site 'Freerepublic.com'. Freepers as a group epitomize the very essence of hypocrisy. Almost universally self-described as 'Christians', Freepers are also almost universally pro-war, antagonistic to the poor and infirm, pro-authoritarian, and open to the use of violence in lieu of civil discussion and process. Freepers, being naturally prone to fear, are also terrified of non-whites, Muslims or anyone that looks like they might be Muslim, and of course, 'teh Gays'. Freepers will express this fear as threats of violence as they believe doing so hides the fact that they are either cowards or closeted 'queers' themselves.

Having a more simplistic 'black and white' mentality, Freepers are easily manipulated into believing many erroneous and irrational ideas that are detrimental to the nation's middle and lower classes, which the Freepers inexplicably feel they are above while exercising lifestyles that involve co-habitation with parents or siblings and harvesting road-kill to supplement a diet of Cheetos™ and generic cola products.

In print, Freepers are universally incapable of employing proper grammar or spelling despite their purported love for English as America's "ofical" language. In person, they will display an inability to grasp concepts such as 'Heat=Energy', 'Substantiation', and even 'Respiration' if they accidentally close their mouths.
"Mommy, why's that man digging in Ms. Robin's trash cans?"
"Oh, that's a Freeper honey... don't get near him."

"My going to the dentist is like a Freeper going to the library."

"How many Freepers does it take to change a lightbulb?"
Zero; "Ma! The light burned out agin!"
by Dr. Eldritch July 24, 2011