The act of calling up an elderly woman in the pursuit of oral pleasure, and then following up by taberknackling the phone and the elderly woman's pet gerbal. This can be done (in the case the speedskater is gay) to an elderly man as well.
Robby: "I just speedskated Old Lady Gertrude down the street. You wouldn't believe how good old lady gums and gerbal fur feels on your nuts."
Casey: "Gee wizz...I can't wait til I can speedskate my gramma!"
1. The act of either covering the body of one who has been passed out with either lotion (in the shape of a penis on the stomach), baby powder, cheese, grapes, glue, or any other assorted substance that can be placed on one's inebriated and non-functional body.
2. The act of placing one's penis in a hotdog roll and covering it with relish, ketchup, mustard or other condiments used on hotdogs. This is done best after one has passed out naked.
Clark: "Look! Mike has passed out! Let us dooshe him!"
Ron: "With what shall we dooshe him?"
Clark: "I will surely secure the hotdog bun and mustard and relish! We can smear his penis with the condiments after placing it into the hotdog bun!"