33 definitions by Col. Hans Landa
prop. n.; University of Pittsburgh Medical Center, in reality a gigantic corporation almost completely unrelated to said University. Although its Pittsburgh-based chain of hospitals (usually) provides world-class care, UPMC is notorious for opposing competition, free-market capitalism, and above-minimum wage for its employees.
UPMC bought out the small-time Catholic hospital, tore down the historic building, and built a luxury office for its President in its stead.
by Col. Hans Landa August 4, 2011
Facebook post: "Tix to see Kanye for 40 bux #winning"
Comment: "Stop using Twitter tags on FB, you little fuck."
Comment: "Stop using Twitter tags on FB, you little fuck."
by Col. Hans Landa October 2, 2011
pron. n.; "We'll-kill-yins-burg"; a city in Pennsylvania, immediately outside of Pittsburgh's city limits. Known for being dangerously crime-infested. Has been repeatedly denied union with the City of Pittsburgh because of its awful reputation. Also has terrible public schools.
by Col. Hans Landa August 18, 2011
An extremely unorganized form of voting, usually used by self-appointed leaders when they don't have the desire to actually consider what the group wants but need to make it look like it was a majority decision.
Intramural captain: "Okay dudes, who can make it Monday to practice? Quick straw poll!" (two people out of thirty raise their hands)
Captain: "Monday it is!"
Guy #1: "90% didn't vote."
(Captain shoots Guy #1 in the face.)
Captain: "Monday it is!"
Guy #1: "90% didn't vote."
(Captain shoots Guy #1 in the face.)
by Col. Hans Landa October 4, 2011
a language spoken by businessmen and CEOs. Used to confuse the people they're about to steal mad cash from by replacing common concepts with words that sound nice.
Examples include, but are in no way limited to:
Price point = price
Strategically reduced = fired
Capital = ca$h money
Sold at profit = Ripped off
Presented a convincing argument = lied to/threatened
Net worth = Maximum ransom
Great time to buy = We're in the shitter
Great time to sell = I want more shares
Executive board meeting = Vacation in Cancun
Unanimous decision = only the CEO agreed
Profitable relocation = we're moving to China
Unforeseen expenses = another vacation in Cancun
Somewhat suggested = absolutely required
Socialist = anyone who disagreed
Acquire via purchase = Buy
It was in the contract = If you take this to court you won't win
Examples include, but are in no way limited to:
Price point = price
Strategically reduced = fired
Capital = ca$h money
Sold at profit = Ripped off
Presented a convincing argument = lied to/threatened
Net worth = Maximum ransom
Great time to buy = We're in the shitter
Great time to sell = I want more shares
Executive board meeting = Vacation in Cancun
Unanimous decision = only the CEO agreed
Profitable relocation = we're moving to China
Unforeseen expenses = another vacation in Cancun
Somewhat suggested = absolutely required
Socialist = anyone who disagreed
Acquire via purchase = Buy
It was in the contract = If you take this to court you won't win
Salesman: "The price point of this house is so high, if you purchase now we can heavily recommend the likely executive redecision committee to select the nearby land for habitat enrichment rather than strategic redevelopment -- that is, if you agree to a slightly more significant lease agreement."
Normal person: "Don't gimme that bullshitspeak. How much do I have to pay so you won't put up the high-rise?"
Normal person: "Don't gimme that bullshitspeak. How much do I have to pay so you won't put up the high-rise?"
by Col. Hans Landa December 28, 2011
The hero of the philosophical epic, Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand. John Galt is the perfectly integrated human being who understands the role of man's mind in existence, and acts upon it. It is he who initiates the strike against the secondhanders and saves the world from unreason.
Related terms include the often-asked question Who is John Galt? and going Galt.
Related terms include the often-asked question Who is John Galt? and going Galt.
"Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values. I am the man who has deprived you of victims and thus has destroyed your world."
by Col. Hans Landa August 24, 2011
n. collective reference to the negative qualities usually attributed to frat boys or Greek culture in general. These include, but are not limited to: alcoholism, assholism, sexual promiscuity, poor academics, low intelligence, low sociability with those who do not participate in Greek life, disrespect for authority, and lack of interest in issues that actually affect human existence.
Most fraternities claim to be against fratboyism, whether or not they actually succeed is another issue entirely.
by Col. Hans Landa August 1, 2011