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Charitable Disguise's definitions

Percussive Universal Soundwave

A repetitious, unexplainable high frequency radio wave transmission received by earth from an unknown source/location within and/or outside our galaxy.

{From 1962 through 2016, 11 Interstellar Radio Mesessage projects (IRMPs) transmitted 50+ messages out across the universe from earth. In 1996, a unique happenstance occured when the convergence of sound wave files during a studio recording session for the band Vibe 45, revealed an anomaly in the form of a high frequency sound wave blip registering at an astonishing 180k Hz (detectable only by the Alosa Saspidissima aka the American Shad) through a customized Crappatoe transducer equipped with a panoramic floppycack jacker. The evidence file was shared with Dr. Chris Culvitude of Copenhagen for a forensic analysis. Dr. Culvitude disaggregated the wave structure using a four dimensional, parabolic floppycack translator and the results were astonishing. The blip unveiled irrefutable evidence of a Percussive Universal Soundwave, or P.U.S., which surreptitiously, included a complex linguistic code, patterned to form the following words: "We Want The Funk", an extraterrestrial response conveying Alien displeasure related to the 50+ boring messages sent, and a plea to the band members of Vibe 45 to send them some ball knocking, Parliament style grooves in the next transmission. Dr. Culvitude mysteriously disappeared in 2001 and his sound popping theory showcasing P.U.S. was never formally published.
1. Scientists recently detected a Percussive Universal Soundwave from an unknown source in the universe.

2. {Dr. Culvitude shows his floppycack package to D Dog of Vibe 45 and explains} "D Dog, you are not going to believe this. The blip is a Percussive Universal Soundwave, and, when I decrypted the pattern into language, you can actually hear alien voices chanting "We Want the Funk!!"
by Charitable Disguise January 8, 2020
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Ballistic Prose

Words and phrases specifically manufactured/defined in order to mislead careless, irresponsible and deceptive journalists/writers.

{An innovative, percussive and aggressive method/style of writing wherein the author intentionally creates a word/phrase and a definition for the word/phrase as a weaponized literary instrument, objectively targeting and penetrating conventional thinking, culturally imposed dogmatic norms and multi-layered veils of psychosocially nurtured concepts. Ballistic Prose is a baiting tactic aimed in the direction of reckless, quasi-intellectual journalism with the supreme achievement occuring when journalists utilize such manufactured, Ballistic Prose words/phrases as credible terms, descriptors and characterizations as part of a legitimate literary composition, thus signifying the infiltration of artificially modernized etymology and its manifestation as an extension of an elaborate ruse}.
1. 'Seismic Aqueous Waveform S.A.W.' is an example of a ballistic prose characterization for a ridiculously large wave. There is no such thing as a S.A.W.

2. "Dude, NBC just referred to the most recent ocean wave surge as a 'Seismic Aqueous Waveform'. Do they have any clue that there is no such thing as a Seismic Aqueous Waveform? Lol!"

3. {Hambone reads and replies to one of D Dog's recent definitions on UD} "D Dog, your definitions are such a lively form of 'Ballistic Prose!" {D Dog replies} "Hambone, you just invented the term to describe this style off writing = Ballistic Prose."
by Charitable Disguise January 3, 2020
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Night

A covert, stealthily disguised term of endearment used to fervently intimate the attractiveness of a female, often emphasized with reckless, pre-pubescent enthusiasm. In cases of extreme glamour and beauty, occasionally pronounced with a heightened focus on sustaining vocal droning and amplitude on the letter "I".
She's a "Night!"
Night!
OMG dude, she is a frickin Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight!
by Charitable Disguise October 12, 2019
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Noodler

An alcohol induced, female bar patron with an insatiable and unrelenting obsession to haphazardly sample, finagle and endure an unfulfilling quest for the ultimate 'Noodle' (a.k.a. male genitalia). Sometimes used in combination with the following adjectives/descriptors: 'sloppy', 'unsightly', 'desperate', puss-wide-open' and 'gargantuan'. For example: 'Sloppy Noodler' or 'Unsightly Noodler'.
Dude, the "Noodler" has been in here every night this week!
Are you frickin kidding me, the "Noodler" is totally out of control today. She's had her puss-wide-open for at least six guys since 11am!
I was pulling up to Trudeau's house and the "Noodler" came out of a side hatch door, barefoot, wearing a Nickelback t-shirt.
by Charitable Disguise October 13, 2019
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Pyro-noxious Slabs

A hazardous, geologic event wherein a hyper-accelerating flow of highly concentrated, sulfur infused volcanic magma builds, cools and intermittently cracks, avulsing into jaggedly uniform, mobilzed 'slabs' of densely toxic rock formations. In rare and unique environmental conditions, migratory slabs have been observed to spontaneously combust into abounding flames upon impact with proximate flora, fauna and curious homosapien onlookers, resulting in a enveloping expulsion of sulfuric cinder chards and respiratory impairing, noxious fumes.
1. "Did you see how the lava formed into 'Pyro-noxious Slabs' when it came down the side of of the volcano, cooling in rhythmic waves as it hit the ocean water's edge?"

2. "I still can't believe that Drew was instantaneously incinerated into a sulfuric plume of ash when that 'Pyro-noxious Slab' chased after him while he was trying to take pictures!"
by Charitable Disguise December 3, 2019
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Paw Claw

Introduced by the band Vibe 45 in the late 1900's, the 'Paw Claw' is an advanced strumming technique for the bass guitar, wherein the elbow and forearm are situated subtly perpendicular to the strings from the butt end of the instrument allowing for flexibility to float/position the strumming hand ('Paw') so that the index, middle and ring fingers are able to intersect frets 15, 17 and 19 over the E, A and D strings respectively. The 'Claw' represents a uniform, pulsing hammer motion executed intermittently and hastily at a 70 degree attack angle, snap depressing the string(s) as if to 'Claw' it deep into the neck of the guitar. Commonly used to pocket lock midrange to low mid frequency rhythmic, funk house drops with the intent to uniquely accentuate drum kicks, hits, stacks and jabs in collaboration with Chuck and Hambone.
Scenario Form
{New fan of Vibe 45 } "Dude, what the heck was D Dog doing with the bass guitar during the song "Millennium Summer"? {Chuck from Vibe 45 replies} "That's the 'Paw Claw' jack."

{D Dog to Hambone of Vibe 45} "Hey Hambone, thanks for showing me the 'Paw Claw' technique!"
by Charitable Disguise November 10, 2019
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Days

A gentelmenly, over enthusiastic vocalized expression of supreme delight, exhilaration and triumph when greeting and welcoming a close friend or loved one. Adapted from post cold war pop culture references to blissful, timeless rhythmic engagement in Easter European Dance Halls, the term "Days" personifies the intensity and joy of the moment in the presence of partners (i.e.friends or loved ones). Sometimes spoken with an indistinguishable European accent. In cases of suprise greetings, 'Days' is used in conjunction with the word 'Hey', as in "Hey Days!"
{Friend enters room} "Days!"
{Friend enters room, surprising and overwhelming you with joy} "Hey Days!!!"
by Charitable Disguise October 13, 2019
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