Skip to main content

Carl J. Maltese's definitions

barbizombie

1) A girl (or guy) who thinks they are a model, but in reality they are not. Usually they are just full-of-themselves, among other things!

2) A girl (or guy) who thinks they are a model, but really couldn't and shouldn't! They should take that money they were saving for Barbizon and go buy a mirror!

3) Any girl (or guy) who isn't pretty...they just look that way!!
"There was always that one girl we knew back in high school. The spoiled only-child type who practically smothered herself in makeup and nail polish and was too busy to so much as give you the time of day. She thought she was going to be a model, but in reality she was just another barbizombie, trapped in the endless night-of-the-living-depressed."
by Carl J. Maltese May 5, 2007
mugGet the barbizombiemug.

Stand-up philosopher

A Bullshit Artist!!

(From the Mel Brooks movie "History of the World, part one.")
Unemployment Office Person: "Name and occupation?"

Comicus: "Comicus, Stand-up Philosopher."

Unemployment Office Person: "A what?"

Comicus: "A Stand-up Philosopher. I take the collasence of daily life and produce anectdotes that have synonymous meaning with various people."

Unemployment Office Person: "Oh. A bullshit artist!"

Comicus: "Uh...Yeah."

Unemployment Office Person: "Well, did you bullshit today? Did you try to bullshit today? Try harder or we'll have to cut-off you payments. Next please!"
by Carl J. Maltese April 12, 2007
mugGet the Stand-up philosophermug.

Jack

Symbolic, alagorical name of that which is evil, bad, or wrong in certain novels, such as "Lord of the Flies."
"In 'Lord of the Flies' by William Golding, the character that represented evil was named 'Jack.' The character that represented good was named 'Roger,' and the character that represented order & rationality was named 'Piggy.'"
by Carl J. Maltese April 15, 2007
mugGet the Jackmug.

SHIELD

Supreme Headquarters International Espionage Law-enforcement Division.
In my previous entry I had forgotten to include the word "Espionage." But, as any devout reader of Marvel Comics can tell you, both definitions are correct as Marvel briefly dropped "Espionage" from SHIELD in the late 1970's. They eventually restored it.
by Carl J. Maltese May 21, 2007
mugGet the SHIELDmug.

USSA

United Secure States of America (From a sci-fi paperback series of the same name, C.1987-1989)
"Ever since The Generals and Evangelists took over, life has been so much easier here in the USSA!"
by Carl J. Maltese March 31, 2007
mugGet the USSAmug.

tea dumping psychos

One of the many colourful slang terms that the British have for Americans.
"The damn tea dumping psychos! Five-thousand-pounds worth of tea thrown right off the bloody ships! The bloody crates are all completley soaked through, making the tea totally unfit for drinking. Even for Americans."
by Carl J. Maltese April 1, 2007
mugGet the tea dumping psychosmug.

Hanes grazer

Derogatory term for a homosexual male. First used by Howard Stern.
"Are you just another turd tapping Hanes grazer!?"
by Carl J. Maltese April 13, 2007
mugGet the Hanes grazermug.

Share this definition