Carl J. Maltese's definitions

blow job

A nice job, if you can get it.

"I could really go for a blow job right about now."

by Carl J. Maltese April 21, 2007

Hannah Montana

Just another damned clone produced by Bell Labs under contract to Disney. When she is all-used-up, they'll produce more to unleash on the public.

"Hannah Montana. Proof you can come from nowhere and bring it with you. Also, few adults know or even care that her last name is spelled with only two "n's", not three."

by Carl J. Maltese February 16, 2008

SHIELD

Supreme Headquarters International Espionage Law-enforcement Division.

In my previous entry I had forgotten to include the word "Espionage." But, as any devout reader of Marvel Comics can tell you, both definitions are correct as Marvel briefly dropped "Espionage" from SHIELD in the late 1970's. They eventually restored it.

by Carl J. Maltese May 21, 2007

SCCC

Suffolk County Community College (aka "The Ship of Fools").

Two campuses located in Suffolk County, Long Island, New York. One in Seldon and the other in Brentwood.
Six-one-way-half-a-dozen-the-other. Both are colossal wastes of time and money.
Junior college under an assumed name.
High school with ash-trays.
One would be better-off either: A) Trying a little harder to get into a real college, or, B) Finding a well-paying blue collar job!

"I wasted two years in SCCC and all I got to show for it is an unpaid student loan and a case of the clap!"

by Carl J. Maltese May 9, 2007

jerry falwell

See Also: The Good Year Blimp with a southern accent; Vague on eight of the Ten Commandments; Oliver North's bend-over buddy; Proud owner of several Swiss bank accounts; Jerry the Blob; Xenophobe; Persecutor; Book burning money worshiper; First against the wall when the revolution comes.

"It's time for the Old Time Persecution Hour with Jerry Falwell!"

by Carl J. Maltese May 21, 2007

salvation army

A great place to find rather interesting...albeit used...books, CD's, cassette tapes, record albums, 8-track tapes, DVD's, 12" laser discs, VHS video tapes, BETAMAX video tapes, and obsolete electronic equipment.
A lousy place for finding clothes, furniture, or anything else that might be useful for day-to-day living.

"The Salvation Army thrift store is having another book sale, four for a dollar. Unfortunatley, they're also having a used underwear sale too...."

by Carl J. Maltese October 13, 2007

dresses that can only be worn once

Those expensive prom dresses you just had to have.

"I fail to see why all those stupid girls would waste such an incredible amount of money on dresses that can only be worn once. I mean, the guys wear rented tuxedoes. Why can't the girls get rental dresses?"

by Carl J. Maltese June 16, 2007